HOW TO LIVE LIKE AN URBAN GODDESS: 7 Tantric Lifestyle Practices for Healthy Urban Living

HOW TO LIVE LIKE AN URBAN GODDESS

7 TANTRIC LIFESTYLE PRACTICES FOR HEALTHY URBAN LIVING

I have lived in NYC for most of my adult life. Having been on a spiritual path for the past 20 years, it still baffles my mind that I live amongst all this concrete and hustle and bustle when I am not in Costa Rica, my respite and second home. But the truth of the matter is, I have spent more time walking these mean streets and navigating the subway and crowds than I have on any beach, boat or country ferris wheel. Having practiced tantra for the past 10 years, and some sort of spiritual practice for the past 20, I have gathered some wisdom about what it takes to make it energetically in the midst of urban sprawl. This article will be informed by NYC life but it can apply to any urban experience across the globe. New York, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, but it truly is up to you and how much coffee you drink. Just kidding. Well sorta.

  1. ENJOY….yes. I put this as numero uno because living in a city is all about enjoying it. Let’s make one thing clear, if you come to a city and bitch and complain that the city is too loud or dirty or over-populated, well then, it will be. You don’t come to a city to find yourself and merge with tranquility. You come to a city to live out loud, express, explore, experiment and make connections. The times I have gotten back from Costa Rica, chilled out, tranquilo and tanned and hit the streets complaining, uncomfortable, wishing for more sun on my face, have just made me miserable. When you fight with reality, it really can only fight back. Surrender to what is. Surrender to the fact that you can now shop for things you would never find anywhere else, eat food you may never find anywhere else, and meet people of all shapes and sizes, some of which are brilliant, ambitious, traveled and interesting. Surrender to the fact that some of the best culture can be found in a city and surrender to the fact that loads of immigrants from other countries have worked like mad to just be able to be here to even have a shot at some sort of better life. Find the aspects of your city that you dig, the restaraunts, the activities, the people and seek them out and ENJOY them…Enjoying is the key to peace, health, wealth and distraction from the more challenging aspects of life. It is also your birthright and I believe the reason we were born. Enjoying is a healer totalmente (yes I made up that word)…do not underestimate her fierce grace.

    2. FIND TREES AND GREEN THINGS AND SUNSHINE….The main challenge I find living in a city is the lack of nature. Do what you can to get your daily or weekly fix. It wont be enough for a normal sane human but you can meet the minimum requirements thru city parks or thru simply getting out of the city into a close by natural setting. Even 5-10 minutes a day changing your walk to work to pass thru a park and simply sitting and doing nothing (not sitting and checking your phone) will help ease your over-active city buzz. Try and meditate if you can in that green or better yet, take off your shoes and walk thru some grass and get on the earth. There are serious ions in the earth that travel up your feet and in to your entire system making your soul greener, you step lighter and the lines on your face soften. Nature is the master healer and what our bodies need to balance themselves. If you can’t get to a park, add some plants to your apartment. They will oxygenize your space and make you happier, I promise. Apartments without plants make no sense to me, you really feel a shift when you add them and the watering of them keeps you connected to nature even in a small way. The same with sun. City people tend to be lacking Vitamin D. If you can get outside and get some sun on your face and exposed skin for 10-15 minutes, say at your lunch break or in between shops, you are adding a lot of general magic to your system. On the days I don’t do this, wow I can feel it. It blows my mind how this little time in the sun makes a big difference to my mood. If you are lacking Vitamin D and really just never make it to daily sun then take a supplement, for women this is super anti-breast cancer. Just make sure not to over due it, too much Vitamin D is also not the best. You can get a simple blood test from your doctor to see your range. And by all means: GET OUT…go to the country. Just Go. Don’t think about it. The retreat out of the city will make you much fresher when you get back in. Or you will decide to move. Either way you have options.

    3. MEDITATE..I know, I know, we busy urban junkies are too busy to sit and do nothing, but that’s exactly why we need to. Our minds are so over activated in an urban sprawl that we have to give ourselves time to clean them out. Think of it like re-booting your computer. You just have to do it now and then and install the updates. The brain is like this. Too much stimulation and it just does not run as effectively. And ends up running you. Even if you just get in 5 minutes a day, twice a day it is enough. Something happens when we stop and let the universe in…..things get clearer, brilliant solutions come, we remember what is important, we begin to feel our lives again, rather than over think them, we stop wasting time on repetitive or circular thoughts that lead nowhere but to tension. We also calm our nervous systems and up our immune system. Stress is the greatest disease. Meditation is the magic pill. Even if you have to go to the bathroom to do it. Even if you have to put on your head phones on the subway and close your eyes. Even if its 5 minutes at the end of your yoga practice. Stop. Collaborate and listen.

  4. BREATHE…yes I know you are breathing all day but un-conscious breath is very different than deep, mindful breath. Breathing is one of the top ways we detox toxins in the body and one of the greatest remedies for slowing down and centering. It also makes you sexy. And it both calms and energizes you if done right. I like an in hale thru the nose and exhale out the mouth to balance my yin and yang. Yin being the nostril breathing and yang being the mouth breathing. The cool thing about breathing is that no matter what situation you are in, you can do it without anyone noticing. And what I have noticed is if I am in a stressful situation with another person and I start focusing on my breath, they also seems to relax and become more at ease without really knowing what is happening. It really is like magic. It also relaxes you into your body, which is always in the moment and quiets the mind so you can be more efficient in your thought process.

  5. EMOTE…Yes, cry, shout, scream, laugh, sing with joy. Emotions are the colors of life and without them we are robots. Living in a city requires a certain amount of stimulation and taking in a huge amount of human energy each day. This can affect us on a deep level, but because there is so much of it we barely have time to process it all and often we are shutting down or numbing out all the stimulus we receive from the outside. This can make us stuffed full of other people’s dramas and cold to our deep reserve of human empathy and sensitivity. So make time for regular emotional detox sessions. A great way thru this is thru breath work, ecstatic dance or other emotional release techniques and art. Singing, dancing, acting, painting, writing, anything that allow expression even if you are not an “artist” do it for a healthy soul. Just talking about emotions does not get us feeling and moving thru them…Stuck and stored emotions turn into unhealthy relationships, illness, abundance issues, depression and blocked soul drive. Even if you take the time to turn on your favorite melancholy music and spend some time alone, its good to get the emotions flowing so you don’t get stuck with stored up energy. Remember emotion is just energy in motion.

  6. MOVE…Exercise the body. Sweat. Movement is one of thenGreatest healers ever. Find the thing you love to do that gets you in that zen mind. Whether its the gym, or park walking or all night dancing or yoga, just find the time to move your body, sweat and breathe. Not only does exercise improve mood, make your body healthier and sexier, but it also releases toxins thru the sweat and breath and gets you into a rhythmic state which is as close to orgasmic ecstasy as you can get without having an actual orgasm. The other great thing about movement is its often done to music which as we know is the great spirit lifter and sexiness shiner. I also find after exercise I feel smarter and more motivated. Over- exercising is not advised but that kind of exercise where you feel challenged but inspired, not dragging or pounding your body into some maniacal gym instructors idea of fitness. Healthy movement is when you are connected and feeling YOUR body and ENJOYING the pleasure of moving it.

  7. GET OUT! Yes…please go out of the city often. Whether its day trips to natural settings, visiting family or friends in suburban settings or simply taking a vacation for a few days or weeks. Find the time to give yourself many moments outside of the hustle and bustle. Often times we are in the city so intense on doing what we are here to do, we can loose perspective on that ambition. Getting out of the noise and traffic and smog is also about getting out of the collective mind that accumulates in us. Our minds are all wired to each other and thoughts do travel. When we live with so many other human minds, thinking, calculating and worrying we can take on that energy more often. So getting out allows us some space to simply collect ourselves and our thoughts and gain some much needed perspective. Because we often don’t realize how the city is affecting us until we are out of it and reflecting on how we feel, its a good idea to just make this a rule…GET OUT!! Or better yet, move out and come visit me down in Costa Rica, where my refuge outside of the city awaits. In fact if this whole article made you realize you need to get out of the city or move then I applaude you. I love city life. Truly. But I don’t condone it. In the end I think the healthiest way to live is in nature. Pure and simple. But if you have to be in the city due to work, family, career, passions then by all means live as best as you can.

If you want more tips or tricks for healthier urban living, visit my websites : www.sensualtantrichealing.com and www.breathworknyc.com (coming soon-currently being upgraded) and schedule some one on one coaching or breathwork with me in person or via skype or simply sign up to my email list to stay informed about my upcoming online course: “Every Woman Is a Tantrika: A Live Online Course for Urban Women Who Want To Thrive Radiantly In Any City”.  It is my pleasure to assist you in elevating your life with Tantric Lifestyle Practices and Wholistic Sexuality.

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Slowing Down:: Acknowledging Your Womb Wisdom:: 8 Delicious Ways to Be A Pussy

13162_840201576032683_9145546287106111740_nHave you heard that expression, “a woman’s work is never done”, well, you have because it’s true.  Women have more demands on them than any living creature I have ever known and are the most adept at juggling family life, career, health, hobbies, girlfriends, the emotional landscape of being woman, the societal demands on how we should look, and the pressures from our peers to be “Goddesses”. I use this term loosely, not because I don’t respect it as a word, nor because I don’t believe in the holy power of the goddess, She is definitely a living being. Starting with the ground we walk and the air we breathe. But I for one, am exhausted at how much I find myself running to keep up with everyone’s definition of what Goddess means, and what demands I have placed on myself to achieve this idea of perfection. To prove I am one.

When I got hit with the Flu for 3 days, something I never get, I just am not one of those people, I had to stop and pause for a second….And ask myself…why was I running myself so hard? What was I trying to prove with all the things I thought I was “doing”. And at the core of it was this ancient fear for the male “boss” I had projected my man wounds on and was afraid to voice myself too, afraid of being called a “Pussy”. Who wants to be a “pussy”? Wait, except, I loved pussies, so what was I so afraid of? I was all about Pussies….maybe I should just surrender and be a “pussy”…… and give it the correct definition.

So here it is…..(drum roll)

8 TIPS TO PROVE YOUR PUSSY POWER

1. You don’t carry heavy shit. Look, you can, it’s not that you won’t but with all the things you are doing all day long, taking care of everyone, looking beautiful, finding god, making food, and organizing business meetings, you really don’t want to spend time carrying things that are 1/3 the weight for these other beings called Men. Why should you carry the heavy stuff? He’s better at it. Find a He and Ask. Usually, the great thing is, if you ask nice, they really like to flex their muscles.

2. You don’t PUSH…..You don’t PULL……you simply RECEIVE…..Read that once more. Out Loud. To everyone in sight. This is the new dawn of grace. Sometimes we are great at these words and lousy at the practice. We receive by tuning in and vibrating our goddess charms all thru us and shower them on life in all its manifestations…..This is called Magic. Magic is the stuff of dreams. Dreams are stuff of the night. The night has the moon. The moon is Her. You are Her. Enough said.

3. Your Womb Feeling is Your Gut Feeling, is Your Saving Grace…..: That means TUNE IN. All the time. Without this you will not hear the guidance that is flowing thru you like water, all the day and all the night. Give up trying to understand it. Just listen to it. Feel it. It’s often poetic, mostly wise and always very simple. It lives in your womb. Yes where babies are made and no you don’t need to have had a baby to sense it. It’s Womb Wisdom. Just go stare at that picture of that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you left, that you knew was not good for you. Notice the feeling in your belly. That’s your womb talking to you. Loud and clear…You know when you know. We all have been there…

4. YES, Even Today Is a Good Day to Dress Up. Pretty Does Matter…..Because it matters to you…because it matters when and where and how you dress to please yourself. If you feel like dressing up or putting on lipstick or glitter or earrings or some strange feather eye mask, or your favorite sneakers you are allowed, because. You get to do what you want, because it feels good, because you know that feeling good, will help others have permission to feel good too. Because you just like it. Because its pretty.

5. WHEN TIRED….You Rest. This is a very, very  important one…when you are tired, that means rest. That means, you must tell others you are resting, that means you must take that rest to be mind/body/spirit rest. That means, you take your mind out of figuring out how it is all going to work out and you simply hand it over to the Goddess, and say “I am resting, can you hold this?”. And She Will. So. Just Do it. Rest.

6. JUICE YOURSELF:: This means two things;; drink fresh juice…like from vegetables. This is way way helpful. It makes your skin glow, your energy rise, it makes you happy. Second it means:: Do something fun. Take a dance class, see a girlfriend, paint your nails, go see good art, ride a bike, play with kids, watch the sunset, walk barefoot thru the sand, LAUGH, tell an erotic story, do something JUICY….related to fun, inspiration, creativity, sensuality…whatever it is that gets you saying YES to being alive. Go and do it. You can also do that too just make sure you also receive some pleasure and not just give.

7. You Help. You help others, when it also feels good for you. You don’t help when you are half falling over. You help when you truly have an overflowing cup and it is a pleasure to help. You help out of gratitude, out of joy, out of service to a larger universe. You help out of love. Not out of hoping to get some love, or helping with an agenda of the other person now helping you next, or with the idea that you “should” help. You help because it is intensely pleasurable. You help because it makes you happy. When someone needs help and you don’t have it to give, you look around for that person who does have it to give and you delegate. If it’s just you and you have 3 screaming kids and no man or woman around, you put a movie on, you call a friend, you do what you can to find the peace so that you also receive help. You help as much as you ask for help. Muy importante.

8. You like cats. Just kidding. But not really. Because if you want to truly be a pussy, just watch a cat. She/He will show you everything you need to know about perfecting the Art. Lie around, look deeply at life, move fast, leap, purr, scratch when you don’t like something, nuzzle in when you do, be gorgeous. It’s easy. And in only 8 steps…..Purrrr…..

Love to All the Women Out There Who Do More Than The World Will Ever Recognize.

I Recognize You and So Does She.

Love and Gratitude.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

Tantra is a Path of Gratitude

76135_450082451712762_2078688276_nHappy Thanksgiving.

A friend recently told me “tantra is a path of gratitude”. I had never looked at like that before. Not that I would disagree with this statement but I had never phrased it that way. It made me pause and  nod my head while I took it in and digested that remark.

I have chosen to adopt this phrase. Especially today on the day of thanks and giving. Been a day of solitude for me, having been invited a few places, but finding that I am enjoying the quiet of NYC and the alone time in a quiet apartment with a quiet cat. Today I am grateful for quiet and solitude, on a day when most people are probably busy and celebrating. I will attend desert at a friend’s house so as  not to miss out on the energy of celebration and togetherness, but for right now, solitude is aweome.

Tantra IS a path of gratitude. Not just today. But every day. So easily in this modern-day world that stresses all the things we need to have in order to be happy, and uses the power of the emotional hook to sell product after product (just watch tv for 5 minutes after yoga class and you will be amazed at how much clearer you see the advertising worlds manipulation of our heart-strings to sell their stuff) we often can get tricked into thinking and feeling as if what we have is not enough. Let me rephrase. I get tricked into thinking this way and then acting from a place of scarcity and lack.…running around trying to get the next thing or make something happen.

Of course we want to create wonderful lives and that does often include things in the practical 3rd dimension like healthy food, technology, beautiful clothes and delicious entertainment. For sure we should enjoy living in the world and participating in it. But when it becomes an energy of constantly needing more, needing better, a sense of striving that never gets satiated, we know we are missing the true joy inherent in life. To run after things that just lead to another need and more running, keeps us in a cycle of unfulfilled desires. Which just creates more desire. It an endless cycle that really leads nowhere except to the realization of our futile attempts.

Today after I went to the gym I sat on the porch and I just watched the sky. The steam coming up from the building across from me, somebody probably cooking something wonderful, the sounds of children and families coming thru the windows around the Manhattan neighborhood. The sun was bright and all I had to do was watch how the steam billowed up to the sky. And it was enough. There was contentment in a way that I have not been affording myself, as I have been too caught up to really sit tight and just be.  I have been too busy running around trying to make life happen. Today it was a holiday and this gave me permission I wish I would remember to afford myself more often. Because, there was joy in that steam and peace in my sitting.  The silent, sweet soft cat by my side reminding me to slow down and let life in. What a gift.

In that moment a great gratitude extended thru my bones and soul with a certainty. I am so grateful for knowing that silent space exists and is there for me whenever I choose to drop my ideas of how life should look, or what I think I need, or what I think I have to do to get there. Wherever “there” is.  It was a tantric moment. The moment I am attempting to create for my clients. The moment that all prayer/practice/breath/yoga/massage stroke is attempting to deliver people to. Unity. And in that unity a natural gratitude extends so that one can only say thank you. Because it’s just awesome. And feels so right. Thank you life for being this awesome for no reason. Thank you for opening to me.

So today, I would suggest to you to take some time to just sit silently, amongst the food and people and festivities, and just feel your self in the presence of life. Offer yourself to this gratitude, offer yourself and your actions and your time and money to this place of unity. This is tantra. When everything comes together into one cosmic love affair. Just you, the porch and the steam. Just you, the couch and the smells from the oven. Just you and some Uncle you have nothing to say to. Just you and your kid nephew throwing popcorn everywhere. Just you and your girlfriend whose talking about something you have no interest in. Just you and the night sky. Just you and the grocery clerk 5 minutes before the store closes for that last onion you probably won’t need but just maybe. Just pause there.

Today I am grateful to remember that this unity is happening all the time, that this inner peace is but a prayer away, that even when it feels like “it leaves” it is only a moment away from returning, reinventing itself, re configuring how it chooses to express itself. Today I am grateful for the beings in my life, that continue to challenge me to remember this, for the opportunity to even touch this, to free myself from the compulsive need to think I can control anything, or that I have somewhere I have to get to. Today I am grateful for that steam and that crisp afternoon on a Manhattan porch with nowhere to go and nothing to do but let it in, let it out, and make my way over to the place where the good people live, dancing and eating turkey and telling stories that go all night. I am grateful to have both.

Thank you thank you thank you.

God bless.

This is Tantra….

Opening Prayers of Healing

56814_449403558449707_652988619_oWhen a client walks thru my door, and I would really rather not refer to them as “clients”, lets say “Guests”. When a guest walks thru my door I must admit there is sometimes a bit of hesitation, also known as resistance. After talking to some fellow Dakini friends, they revealed they sometimes feel this way too. Resistance. Hesitation. Not feeling up to it. Wishing to be somewhere else. I used to feel a bit ashamed about this. Am I a “real” Dakini if I feel this way? Shouldn’t I be loving every second of every session if I am truly a REAL Tantrika?…Well….not really.

Here is the thing. We ALL have resistance about everything. It’s human nature. The shadow exists. It’s in how we meet that resistance and hesitation, especially before a session that creates that magic in a session. After talking to my amazing Tantra mentor about it, she revealed she felt the same resistance before sessions and just chooses to embrace it. How fabulous!! Embrace the resistance. Isn’t this what I am sharing in my sessions, embracing everything, every sensation, every feeling and breathing with it, thru it, exhaling into the experience without judgement? Magic things happen when we do this. Expansion. I see it with my guests all the time….

Now I begin a prayer before the guest comes. It is always different but sometimes sounds like this::”Dear wise and deep goddess, embrace me and this fellow soul to meet in oneness, in healing and truth. Allow me to open to your call, to your grace, to your beauty as the sacred vessel I am, so that I can hold the door open for this fellow soul to meet his or her self in the highest possible way. Allow me to be at peace with the resistance in my body, allow me to not fight my experience but to breathe with it as part of the great whole so that in this way, I invite this guest to honor their experience as well. Allow only the highest good of all involved to be revealed in this meeting and allow all darkness to be transformed into light”.

Having started this, saying this quietly or internally, seated ideally meditating or if I don’t have time, as I am setting up the room or preparing myself, I invoke the highest possible frequency and I embrace myself exactly where I am and as the perfect point for the healing to start. This starting prayer is everything in my work. Without it at the beginning, I can start it in the middle of the session if I forget it at the beginning, but it is much more challenging to lay the foundation of quality energy down. When I start it at the beginning, I find I naturally come back to the intention thrughout the session and the power of the healing is magnified. If I get a little sidetracked in the session or the guest comes in with alot of stress or alot of mind, the prayer just grounds me and keeps the energy steady.

In this way, the bodywork, the breath, the sounding all becoming embodied prayers. No matter where the energy goes, or what the guest experiences or needs to release, the prayer is protecting the whole container. To set this container up at the beginning of a session makes EVERYTHING that much easier. It is also FUN. Prayer is an art. You can create your own, find chants or mantras that inspire you, or even sing your prayers. It’s all about the devotion in your heart, it’s all about you connecting to that larger source and the guest, no matter where they are at on their tantric journey, WILL feel it. I have had the most amazing experiences with people who completely blew my mind’s ideas of what I thought they could handle or who I thought they were. Calling in the soul, is for everyone, if for all of life, and even if a person gets just a little taste, you lay the foundation for them to experience more. To remember an experience, to open up that much more the next time.

I often find myself guiding them with words during the session and this too, becomes an extension of the opening prayer. The quality of my voice, the intention behind it. It may just be simple instructions but the words are part of the embodied prayer.

Sensual Tantric Healing is a living, embodied prayer for healing, pleasure, connection and joy. Empowerment is a by-product. Freedom happens naturally. What a dance of love.  So grateful.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com