HOW TO LIVE LIKE AN URBAN GODDESS: 7 Tantric Lifestyle Practices for Healthy Urban Living

HOW TO LIVE LIKE AN URBAN GODDESS

7 TANTRIC LIFESTYLE PRACTICES FOR HEALTHY URBAN LIVING

I have lived in NYC for most of my adult life. Having been on a spiritual path for the past 20 years, it still baffles my mind that I live amongst all this concrete and hustle and bustle when I am not in Costa Rica, my respite and second home. But the truth of the matter is, I have spent more time walking these mean streets and navigating the subway and crowds than I have on any beach, boat or country ferris wheel. Having practiced tantra for the past 10 years, and some sort of spiritual practice for the past 20, I have gathered some wisdom about what it takes to make it energetically in the midst of urban sprawl. This article will be informed by NYC life but it can apply to any urban experience across the globe. New York, if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, but it truly is up to you and how much coffee you drink. Just kidding. Well sorta.

  1. ENJOY….yes. I put this as numero uno because living in a city is all about enjoying it. Let’s make one thing clear, if you come to a city and bitch and complain that the city is too loud or dirty or over-populated, well then, it will be. You don’t come to a city to find yourself and merge with tranquility. You come to a city to live out loud, express, explore, experiment and make connections. The times I have gotten back from Costa Rica, chilled out, tranquilo and tanned and hit the streets complaining, uncomfortable, wishing for more sun on my face, have just made me miserable. When you fight with reality, it really can only fight back. Surrender to what is. Surrender to the fact that you can now shop for things you would never find anywhere else, eat food you may never find anywhere else, and meet people of all shapes and sizes, some of which are brilliant, ambitious, traveled and interesting. Surrender to the fact that some of the best culture can be found in a city and surrender to the fact that loads of immigrants from other countries have worked like mad to just be able to be here to even have a shot at some sort of better life. Find the aspects of your city that you dig, the restaraunts, the activities, the people and seek them out and ENJOY them…Enjoying is the key to peace, health, wealth and distraction from the more challenging aspects of life. It is also your birthright and I believe the reason we were born. Enjoying is a healer totalmente (yes I made up that word)…do not underestimate her fierce grace.

    2. FIND TREES AND GREEN THINGS AND SUNSHINE….The main challenge I find living in a city is the lack of nature. Do what you can to get your daily or weekly fix. It wont be enough for a normal sane human but you can meet the minimum requirements thru city parks or thru simply getting out of the city into a close by natural setting. Even 5-10 minutes a day changing your walk to work to pass thru a park and simply sitting and doing nothing (not sitting and checking your phone) will help ease your over-active city buzz. Try and meditate if you can in that green or better yet, take off your shoes and walk thru some grass and get on the earth. There are serious ions in the earth that travel up your feet and in to your entire system making your soul greener, you step lighter and the lines on your face soften. Nature is the master healer and what our bodies need to balance themselves. If you can’t get to a park, add some plants to your apartment. They will oxygenize your space and make you happier, I promise. Apartments without plants make no sense to me, you really feel a shift when you add them and the watering of them keeps you connected to nature even in a small way. The same with sun. City people tend to be lacking Vitamin D. If you can get outside and get some sun on your face and exposed skin for 10-15 minutes, say at your lunch break or in between shops, you are adding a lot of general magic to your system. On the days I don’t do this, wow I can feel it. It blows my mind how this little time in the sun makes a big difference to my mood. If you are lacking Vitamin D and really just never make it to daily sun then take a supplement, for women this is super anti-breast cancer. Just make sure not to over due it, too much Vitamin D is also not the best. You can get a simple blood test from your doctor to see your range. And by all means: GET OUT…go to the country. Just Go. Don’t think about it. The retreat out of the city will make you much fresher when you get back in. Or you will decide to move. Either way you have options.

    3. MEDITATE..I know, I know, we busy urban junkies are too busy to sit and do nothing, but that’s exactly why we need to. Our minds are so over activated in an urban sprawl that we have to give ourselves time to clean them out. Think of it like re-booting your computer. You just have to do it now and then and install the updates. The brain is like this. Too much stimulation and it just does not run as effectively. And ends up running you. Even if you just get in 5 minutes a day, twice a day it is enough. Something happens when we stop and let the universe in…..things get clearer, brilliant solutions come, we remember what is important, we begin to feel our lives again, rather than over think them, we stop wasting time on repetitive or circular thoughts that lead nowhere but to tension. We also calm our nervous systems and up our immune system. Stress is the greatest disease. Meditation is the magic pill. Even if you have to go to the bathroom to do it. Even if you have to put on your head phones on the subway and close your eyes. Even if its 5 minutes at the end of your yoga practice. Stop. Collaborate and listen.

  4. BREATHE…yes I know you are breathing all day but un-conscious breath is very different than deep, mindful breath. Breathing is one of the top ways we detox toxins in the body and one of the greatest remedies for slowing down and centering. It also makes you sexy. And it both calms and energizes you if done right. I like an in hale thru the nose and exhale out the mouth to balance my yin and yang. Yin being the nostril breathing and yang being the mouth breathing. The cool thing about breathing is that no matter what situation you are in, you can do it without anyone noticing. And what I have noticed is if I am in a stressful situation with another person and I start focusing on my breath, they also seems to relax and become more at ease without really knowing what is happening. It really is like magic. It also relaxes you into your body, which is always in the moment and quiets the mind so you can be more efficient in your thought process.

  5. EMOTE…Yes, cry, shout, scream, laugh, sing with joy. Emotions are the colors of life and without them we are robots. Living in a city requires a certain amount of stimulation and taking in a huge amount of human energy each day. This can affect us on a deep level, but because there is so much of it we barely have time to process it all and often we are shutting down or numbing out all the stimulus we receive from the outside. This can make us stuffed full of other people’s dramas and cold to our deep reserve of human empathy and sensitivity. So make time for regular emotional detox sessions. A great way thru this is thru breath work, ecstatic dance or other emotional release techniques and art. Singing, dancing, acting, painting, writing, anything that allow expression even if you are not an “artist” do it for a healthy soul. Just talking about emotions does not get us feeling and moving thru them…Stuck and stored emotions turn into unhealthy relationships, illness, abundance issues, depression and blocked soul drive. Even if you take the time to turn on your favorite melancholy music and spend some time alone, its good to get the emotions flowing so you don’t get stuck with stored up energy. Remember emotion is just energy in motion.

  6. MOVE…Exercise the body. Sweat. Movement is one of thenGreatest healers ever. Find the thing you love to do that gets you in that zen mind. Whether its the gym, or park walking or all night dancing or yoga, just find the time to move your body, sweat and breathe. Not only does exercise improve mood, make your body healthier and sexier, but it also releases toxins thru the sweat and breath and gets you into a rhythmic state which is as close to orgasmic ecstasy as you can get without having an actual orgasm. The other great thing about movement is its often done to music which as we know is the great spirit lifter and sexiness shiner. I also find after exercise I feel smarter and more motivated. Over- exercising is not advised but that kind of exercise where you feel challenged but inspired, not dragging or pounding your body into some maniacal gym instructors idea of fitness. Healthy movement is when you are connected and feeling YOUR body and ENJOYING the pleasure of moving it.

  7. GET OUT! Yes…please go out of the city often. Whether its day trips to natural settings, visiting family or friends in suburban settings or simply taking a vacation for a few days or weeks. Find the time to give yourself many moments outside of the hustle and bustle. Often times we are in the city so intense on doing what we are here to do, we can loose perspective on that ambition. Getting out of the noise and traffic and smog is also about getting out of the collective mind that accumulates in us. Our minds are all wired to each other and thoughts do travel. When we live with so many other human minds, thinking, calculating and worrying we can take on that energy more often. So getting out allows us some space to simply collect ourselves and our thoughts and gain some much needed perspective. Because we often don’t realize how the city is affecting us until we are out of it and reflecting on how we feel, its a good idea to just make this a rule…GET OUT!! Or better yet, move out and come visit me down in Costa Rica, where my refuge outside of the city awaits. In fact if this whole article made you realize you need to get out of the city or move then I applaude you. I love city life. Truly. But I don’t condone it. In the end I think the healthiest way to live is in nature. Pure and simple. But if you have to be in the city due to work, family, career, passions then by all means live as best as you can.

If you want more tips or tricks for healthier urban living, visit my websites : www.sensualtantrichealing.com and www.breathworknyc.com (coming soon-currently being upgraded) and schedule some one on one coaching or breathwork with me in person or via skype or simply sign up to my email list to stay informed about my upcoming online course: “Every Woman Is a Tantrika: A Live Online Course for Urban Women Who Want To Thrive Radiantly In Any City”.  It is my pleasure to assist you in elevating your life with Tantric Lifestyle Practices and Wholistic Sexuality.

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Chakras Blocked?

10996378_1106656089361073_5414727044507092550_nOur chakra system is a rich and colorful system that corresponds to energies in our lives and areas of our body. When certain chakras are blocked, so are certain energies in our lives and parts of our bodies. Tantric work helps to open these chakras and bring the breath and movement of sensual energy to clean out and restore their natural goodness. Pleasure has the power to heal and by generating this cosmic kundalini pleasure energy and spreading it via touch and breath and sound thru out the whole body and therefore into the chakras we can create magic, healing and aliveness. Pure and simple.

The FIRST CHAKRA:: Also known as the root chakra, or the area between the anus and the genitalia,functions as our anchor in the world and our connection to survival. It is also our sexual chakra where we can also experience sexual energy. If we have problems relating to this chakra our life force can be reduced to a dull murmur. Our relationship to work becomes a survival matter rather than a love affair of enjoyment. We tend to be more prone to diseases of the sexual organs. We also may feel we never have enough so we push ourselves to constantly create More. This constant needing for more is our society’s ill at the moment, particularly in the USA, where it seems we are a culture of bigger is better, more is success…..Healing the root chakra assists us in being more at ease in our bodies, on our planet and in the safety of a benevolent universe.

The SECOND CHAKRA: which is the belly center is a place of exsquisite creative power. But when contracted we may loose our sense of boundaries and our sense of what is ours and what is the others. We may say yes when we mean no or find ourselves in situations that we feel we are powerless to change. Our health can often suffer as we become poor self-nurturers and become constipated both literally and emotionally. When this chakra is aligned and healthy we are in good relation to life rhythms and we complete our creative projects.

The THIRD CHAKRA; the solar center the area of the belly button, is our center of self-esteem. When this area is blocked we may have low self worth and allow others to take advantage of us. We can become victims and not want to take responsibility for changing situations we got ourselves into. When this area is healthy we are empowered to do our best and show up for our lives with responsibility. And responsibility is merely our ability to respond.

The FOURTH CHAKRA is our heart chakra. Pretty easy to understand what happens when this one is blocked. We are in pain, and un-trusting and we doubt everyone and everything sometimes letting our head rule our choices rather than listening to the heart.We may long for love but the fear of getting hurt keeps us closed and untrusting. When our heart chakra is open and healthy we are embracing and accepting of people and situations with trust and ease. We look to create peace in our lives and have love to offer and receive.

The FIFTH CHAKRA, the throat center is our expression center. When this is blocked we find it hard to express ourselves and may be stuck in subordinate roles and we never really communicating our truth. When this area is healthy and in tune we are able to express our wants and needs and also give others permission to do the same.

The SIXTH CHAKRA: the third eye is a place of intuitive insight. When it is blocked we may feel confused or lost. So we tend to follow others and look for our authority outside of ourselves. We also may be resentful of being so co-dependent so we judge others. When the sixth chakra is healthy we see the higher picture and stay on track. It’s the visionary sense we all have. And the place where one sees the highest potential of both himself and others.

The SEVENTH CHAKRA: is our connection to spirit, also known as the crown chakra. When this is blocked we don’t really trust that we have the answers within us and our relationship to the divine is unclear. We are often apprehensive and dissappointed by life as we are not sure there really is a benevolent universe. When this chakra is healthy we are in touch with higher intelligience, light and love and feel connected to our higher power. We are infused with divine energy and wisdom.

The chakras when cleaned and balanced can be a tremendous source of cosmic energy, healing and beauty. There are many ways to chakra cleanse. Using Tantric breath, sound and movement is one way and should be practiced with care and consciousness. Yoga is another great way, hands on healings, accupuncture and many other healing forms.

May you walk in goodness and healing and find all you are sincerely searching for.

Blessings

Embodiment Is Everything

10891977_10152900149483190_6770965350830585997_nToday I called up another Tantra Teacher, a man who came highly recommended for his knowledge and dedication to the true path. I was interested in his training, as I am always searching for the next training, the new information that expands my work even more. I have never met this man before, but I trusted his pictures and websites and videos I saw. I liked him. He seemed for real. And he was. He is.

I realize I haven’t written in awhile because I was taking space from my practice. From this whole “tantra thing” as an acquaintance recently asked if I was “still doing?”. I have been spending my time meditating and relaxing and looking inwards. With less of a fixation to move outwards or hold space for anybody and gathering my forces for the next incarnation of life. So I called this tantra teacher, thinking, well why don’t I just take a class to get myself going again and re-connected?. Find your inspiration again.

Let me explain. I always feel connected to Tantra. Tantra is what is. Right now. It is what is happening at all times. I guess I was feeling a bit discouraged, by the level of maturity that is in our society around sexuality and sensuality. I was tired of hiding, not knowing how or who to tell what my passions are, what I offer to people as a healing, truly who I am. There is alot of stigma around this work, and alot of charlatans who claim to do this work. I just was tired of the whole scene and wanting to connect deeper to myself before I went back into it. And anyway, did people really want the real tantra? Which requires a certain amount of self inquiry and facing your demons. And less to do with massive orgasms or being sexy.  Could I really offer quality and still be in business.

All I can say is it is so refreshing to talk to a real tantra person. Someone who is walking the path and is grounded in truly helping people. This teacher is. And he reminded me of all the amazingness in this work, and the amazing people who can be drawn to this work. I did. I felt re-inspired, re-aligned, re-tantrified…

So get ready. Because my new plan is to blog consistently twice a week, not to just build this blog or because I should, but because I need to express everything I am learning and growing with. I have 10,000 ideas of new things to do with my practice, new ways to serve people, new ways to create sensual arts. And when inspiration comes…you gotta ride that wave thru all your doubt, resistance or confusion…Just keep carving the path. Carving the path…Carving the path…From your own two hands and your own full heart.

So stay tuned….This girl is on fire…

Love

 

Yoni Massage: The Gateway to Feminine Healing

527721_360980377335883_1641217043_nWhat exactly is this famous Yoni Massage about anyway? Why are women seeking this experience now more than ever and why are men so interested in learning how to give them? Is it just another erotic woo hoo thing? And what can one expect to receive and experience if one actually seeks one out and receives this delicious gift to the self?

First of all the Yoni massage is about healing and empowerment. The focus is not on having outrageous orgasms that have you doing cartwheels, although this may happen, the focus is not solely on reaching some sexual goal. It is about celebrating and liberating this powerful area of the woman’s body so that she has more access to her sensations, feelings and erotic potential as well as her creativity and divine shakti, or feminine essence which affects all areas of her life. It awakens Kundalini, the potent spiritual life force, that once awakened brings about higher consciousness and more expansion.  It can be very emotional, very energetic, very arousing or very quiet and peaceful. It is truly a unique experience each and every time and one must show up to the experience, whether giving or receiving, and truly surrender to the moment, to the here and now and let the healing unfold without a goal in mind.

The Yoni Massage is a powerful way to access stored or blocked energy, clear trauma or abuse and heal emotional wounds. Women can hold both personal and collective feminine wounds in this area of their body that can affect their ability to feel pleasure, can actually create pain or numbness or may simply be energetic holdings that only reveal themselves during the massage.  Simply having good sex or a wild sex life is not necessarily going to access these places. The primary reason is because in sex you are normally having in exchange with an intimate partner,  and with the Yoni Massage, you are invited to practice receiving from a therapist who is trained to hold space and facilitate healing. Being in a receptive energy while experiencing your body’s sexual energy, is a profound healing in and of itself for many women. Because it asks us to listen, inside our bodies and souls and get to know these intimate spaces even deeper. Practically speaking, the yoni massage is a very clear healing technique to massage the woman’s vagina, otherwise known as Yoni, that accesses the reflexology points that correspond to the entire body. This is why the yoni massage can feel so good, because it impacts the entire system. It also accesses the Sacred Spot, or G-spot, a sensitive and powerful area of the vagina that is the holding area of much history, energy and imprinting, which can usually remained buried unless accessed in this way.

It also involves breathwork, and the practice of awareness, so that the person receiving is actively participating in their own clearing and release as well as activation and pleasure.  The breath helps the recipient be present to what is happening in the moment, so that one can access what the body is communicating and what emotions are there to be felt. It also helps the energy circulate and build to clear and charge the system, and deepen the connection to life. The facilitator is there offering his/her presence to the recipients process, and is trained to feel when the body is tensing up or holding in certain areas. The breath and the coaching of the particular breathing techniques, help the woman open up even deeper to her erotic potential and her sexual healing and help her move past resistance and open up more fully to joy and pleasure. Never underestimate Joy and Pleasure to be profound healing tools, it is not just suffering that can help us grow, this is the outdated story of healing. Joy and Pleasure and letting them in to expand our lives, can be some of the most powerful breakthrus we have as women. How often have we been taught that our pleasure was wrong, or bad, or dirty? How often have we been taught that other’s needs come before our own? How often were we ever taught about the power of this area of our bodies? Or that our pleasure and Joy naturally spills forth to everything and everyone we meet?  If you were taught these things growing up, wonderful! But many of us weren’t and now, we are catching up to getting to know the divine vessels we travel this life with. It is a gift to know the magic in our feminine jewels.

From the book “Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy, Michaela Riedl writes ”

I like to call yoni massage, the “heart” of massages, since they offer access to a woman’s most intimate area. In no other massage does a woman show as much of her personal and vulnerable side. With each Yoni massage that I give, I develop deeper insight into the sensuality, tenderness, and significance of the female center.

The Yoni has a receptive nature that corresponds to the female principle. For example, it receives the semen and all energies that are linked to it. Every sexual act and action for women means a complete opening of themselves, a reception of everything  that happens in that moment. The woman receives and stores information in her yoni,-information from personal experiences and from stories that have shaped entire generations of women. The yoni, the magical heart place, is thus home to many secrets, a place that recounts the smallest injuries and the greatest moments, as long as we can open its doors.

 

You are worth every ounce of love, time and attention. Don’t be stingy with yourself.

I will be writing more articles in the coming weeks to further expand on the art and healing of the Yoni Massage, one blog post is definitely not enough….

Blessings to you on your way, if I may support you in any way do not hesitate to contact me.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

Slowing Down:: Acknowledging Your Womb Wisdom:: 8 Delicious Ways to Be A Pussy

13162_840201576032683_9145546287106111740_nHave you heard that expression, “a woman’s work is never done”, well, you have because it’s true.  Women have more demands on them than any living creature I have ever known and are the most adept at juggling family life, career, health, hobbies, girlfriends, the emotional landscape of being woman, the societal demands on how we should look, and the pressures from our peers to be “Goddesses”. I use this term loosely, not because I don’t respect it as a word, nor because I don’t believe in the holy power of the goddess, She is definitely a living being. Starting with the ground we walk and the air we breathe. But I for one, am exhausted at how much I find myself running to keep up with everyone’s definition of what Goddess means, and what demands I have placed on myself to achieve this idea of perfection. To prove I am one.

When I got hit with the Flu for 3 days, something I never get, I just am not one of those people, I had to stop and pause for a second….And ask myself…why was I running myself so hard? What was I trying to prove with all the things I thought I was “doing”. And at the core of it was this ancient fear for the male “boss” I had projected my man wounds on and was afraid to voice myself too, afraid of being called a “Pussy”. Who wants to be a “pussy”? Wait, except, I loved pussies, so what was I so afraid of? I was all about Pussies….maybe I should just surrender and be a “pussy”…… and give it the correct definition.

So here it is…..(drum roll)

8 TIPS TO PROVE YOUR PUSSY POWER

1. You don’t carry heavy shit. Look, you can, it’s not that you won’t but with all the things you are doing all day long, taking care of everyone, looking beautiful, finding god, making food, and organizing business meetings, you really don’t want to spend time carrying things that are 1/3 the weight for these other beings called Men. Why should you carry the heavy stuff? He’s better at it. Find a He and Ask. Usually, the great thing is, if you ask nice, they really like to flex their muscles.

2. You don’t PUSH…..You don’t PULL……you simply RECEIVE…..Read that once more. Out Loud. To everyone in sight. This is the new dawn of grace. Sometimes we are great at these words and lousy at the practice. We receive by tuning in and vibrating our goddess charms all thru us and shower them on life in all its manifestations…..This is called Magic. Magic is the stuff of dreams. Dreams are stuff of the night. The night has the moon. The moon is Her. You are Her. Enough said.

3. Your Womb Feeling is Your Gut Feeling, is Your Saving Grace…..: That means TUNE IN. All the time. Without this you will not hear the guidance that is flowing thru you like water, all the day and all the night. Give up trying to understand it. Just listen to it. Feel it. It’s often poetic, mostly wise and always very simple. It lives in your womb. Yes where babies are made and no you don’t need to have had a baby to sense it. It’s Womb Wisdom. Just go stare at that picture of that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you left, that you knew was not good for you. Notice the feeling in your belly. That’s your womb talking to you. Loud and clear…You know when you know. We all have been there…

4. YES, Even Today Is a Good Day to Dress Up. Pretty Does Matter…..Because it matters to you…because it matters when and where and how you dress to please yourself. If you feel like dressing up or putting on lipstick or glitter or earrings or some strange feather eye mask, or your favorite sneakers you are allowed, because. You get to do what you want, because it feels good, because you know that feeling good, will help others have permission to feel good too. Because you just like it. Because its pretty.

5. WHEN TIRED….You Rest. This is a very, very  important one…when you are tired, that means rest. That means, you must tell others you are resting, that means you must take that rest to be mind/body/spirit rest. That means, you take your mind out of figuring out how it is all going to work out and you simply hand it over to the Goddess, and say “I am resting, can you hold this?”. And She Will. So. Just Do it. Rest.

6. JUICE YOURSELF:: This means two things;; drink fresh juice…like from vegetables. This is way way helpful. It makes your skin glow, your energy rise, it makes you happy. Second it means:: Do something fun. Take a dance class, see a girlfriend, paint your nails, go see good art, ride a bike, play with kids, watch the sunset, walk barefoot thru the sand, LAUGH, tell an erotic story, do something JUICY….related to fun, inspiration, creativity, sensuality…whatever it is that gets you saying YES to being alive. Go and do it. You can also do that too just make sure you also receive some pleasure and not just give.

7. You Help. You help others, when it also feels good for you. You don’t help when you are half falling over. You help when you truly have an overflowing cup and it is a pleasure to help. You help out of gratitude, out of joy, out of service to a larger universe. You help out of love. Not out of hoping to get some love, or helping with an agenda of the other person now helping you next, or with the idea that you “should” help. You help because it is intensely pleasurable. You help because it makes you happy. When someone needs help and you don’t have it to give, you look around for that person who does have it to give and you delegate. If it’s just you and you have 3 screaming kids and no man or woman around, you put a movie on, you call a friend, you do what you can to find the peace so that you also receive help. You help as much as you ask for help. Muy importante.

8. You like cats. Just kidding. But not really. Because if you want to truly be a pussy, just watch a cat. She/He will show you everything you need to know about perfecting the Art. Lie around, look deeply at life, move fast, leap, purr, scratch when you don’t like something, nuzzle in when you do, be gorgeous. It’s easy. And in only 8 steps…..Purrrr…..

Love to All the Women Out There Who Do More Than The World Will Ever Recognize.

I Recognize You and So Does She.

Love and Gratitude.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

It’s a Guy Thing:: By David Deida

10593028_10152328745556851_6910828918493703323_nDavid Deida continues to be one of my favorite authors about male/female relationships and sex. And I could also word it this way:: David Deida continues to be one of my favorite authors about the divine masculine and feminine energies and about making Love. He basically emcompasses both. I could also say David Deida continues to be one of my favorite authors about Chics and Dudes and about getting it on. The reason I write it in these few different ways is because he is the one author that I have found able to change up his language in a few styles in order to talk about his subject from an honest perspective and a very wise perspective, I might add. This always shows me how important it is to use language to break down the ways we think about things, so that we look deeper and see ourselves clearer.

I began reading It’s a Guy Thing at a friend’s house and 3 sentences in, I just clicked on the laptop and ordered it from amazon…. it was so good.

Under the subject “Why do Men Balk at Commitment? He writes :

Men tend to argue for the possibility of love with real commitment. In response to men’s ideas about possible relationships, women often feel,, “I’m real. Don’t give me your theoretical bullshit. You’re either loving me right now or you’re not”. She wants concrete love. “Dont give me any of your heady philosophy. I’m not feeling your love right now. You’re not incarnating love right now”. She tests whether her man is really loving, or just thinking of love. “I am here. I am real. Love me”. She is here to love.

The man says, “I know you really want my attention, but can you feel love whether I am here or not? Can you be free and happy whether anything is here or not?” this is the masculine teaching of love.

The more full the masculine and feminine teachings of love are, the more close they come to being the same. At the meeting point, there is no difference between the masculine and the feminine. There is no difference between freedom and love. Since true love is all-encompassing, resisting nothing, it is totally free. And, since real freedom is fearless, with no sense of threatened self, it is completely loving. Freedom and love, masculine and feminine, are not different in their full fruition.

Yet there tends to be a concrete difference at the human level. The masculine is more able to stand outside of things and point out, “You are in a mood right now. This is just a mood. Remember love. In this moment, there is nothing preventing you. You don’t need this and that. You don’t need anything. Just remember love right now.” This is the masculine gift.

The feminine gift is like the sound of a ringing bell, a reminder of love in life. “Hey you! You are distracted in your theories and projects and TV> This is where love is expressed, with me. Right here. I m here to be loved. I m here loving you. The feminine calls the masculine into the beauty of life and the embrace of love.

We need both these gifts. Without the full masculine and feminine, we become weakened. One feminine weakness is to feel, “Unless I’m married, unless I’m in a long term intimate relationship, I can’t really experience love”. One masculine weakness is to think, “Well, if we get married I can’t be free. I don’t want to limit my life. I don’t want to be trapped.”

When we are balanced with ourselves and in our relationships, we are free to give our love without fearing dependency, loss of self or confinement. We are free and we are loving. If our relationship ends tomorrow, fine–today we give each other love. If our relationship lasts a lifetime, fine- today we give each other love.

 

This is one of the best explanations I have ever read. Instead of bashing men because they are committment phobes (I speak in a cliche, I realize they are not all committment phobes and that women can also exhibit this behavior) he points out how the impulse to shirk from that is coming from a wise understanding of love. When we can really communicate about these things with each other and understand the beauty of both sides of this committment debate, our relationships can be filled with more respect and more joy and way more trust:) I know from personal experience when you keep blaming men for your frustrations, instead of understanding better your own womanly nature and the beauty of the man nature, then life can be a struggle. Male hating for female hating really drag you down…..and are not true! Good men exist and so do good women!

If you would like to order this book feel free to click here to order of amazon…..save your dating life!

Many blessings on your dating path and feel free to see my website as well…

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

5 Elements :: 5 Senses

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I had the pleasure of studying with Devi Ward, a tantra educator who shares the lineage of Tibetan 5 element Tantra. She was doing alot of great work, integrating the 5 elements with the 5 senses, and working with powerful meditations using chakras, elements, colors and sounds. Each meditation deals with a different element to super charge your system, clean out your energy field and get you more connected to your sensual/sexual energy for greater health, and energy.

This is what I love about Tantra is the creativity of each way of sharing these arts. I love the use of color, sound and chakras to open up the body.Its like learning magic keys, which I find very exciting….

Just to give you a taste::

THE SACRED 5 ELEMENTS TANTRA SENSUAL EXPERIENCE:

Earth–Taste-Rich succulent flavors and sweet treats, such as, wine and chocolate,cut and peeled fruits, cheese, etc.

Water-Touch–Soft fabrics, pillows, silky lingerie, massage oils (organic high quality), feathers, textured fabrics to rub on your bodies.

Fire— Sight– Candles, low-dim sensuous lighting. clean and tidy environment. Beauty and ambiance.

Air-Smell — oil diffusers, incense, scented,  scented oils.

Space — bells, chimes, sounding bowls, nature sounds, the sound of the voice.

By adding these elements to your room or temple, you can begin to bring in the qualities of each element.  For earth you can have not only succulent treats, but a potted plant. For Fire you can have not only candles but some art work as well. For Air, you can do fresh air thru a humidifier, as well as essential oils and incense. For Space of course, music and also a sound machine to block out any noise from neighbors or strange house creaks as well get creative with your own voice quality…..For water….well, you can always get a nice water fountain. As well as have all the nice feelings of touch. Get creative!

To visit more about Devi Ward , visit:  www.deviward.com and to read more about my work go to www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Blessings and Joy on your sensual tantric healing paths…… Feel free to make comments or ask questions.