Pisces New Moon: Time to Wake Up

March 8th 2016- New Moon and Solar Eclipse on the 9th…

From Mystic Momma blog taken from Divine Harmony:

“So the Solar Eclipse and the entire month of March is a time to choose to stay present, awake and aware– to not go back to sleep, to not bury your head in the sand, to not stay in denial about your past and your sole responsibility for it that has brought you to today.
This month is ripe with major opportunities for karmic completion which will then free you up for dramatic shifts and evolutionary leaps just around the corner! But you cannot spiritually bypass what is up for you right now- as the deep, intense, karmic energies afoot ARE the eye of the needle you must move through first before you can get to the other side…”
“We are all being called to FEEL IT ALL. To feel our Divinity and our humanity, our joy and our grief, our wholeness and our wounding, our peace and our conflict, our kindness and our anger, our confidence and our shame.
“We are being asked to feel it all within us and without. And this is an intense experience- there’s really no getting around it. We need to feel it for ourselves and for others and for the world at large!
“…Oneness is not a concept or delusional idea to Pisces- Pisces FEELS IT. We ARE all in this together…”
“With this Eclipse opposite Jupiter on the North Node- the path to evolution, growth and the realization of our destiny requires that we balance pisces’ idealism and otherwordly-ness with Virgo’s ‘be here now’ practicality and presence…”

To read further please click here:

http://www.mysticmamma.com/total-eclipse-in-pisces-supermoon-march-8th-9th-2016/

Enjoy this time everyone…potent times of awakening and celebrating…healing.

Much Love

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Don’t Waste Time On Things That Don’t Feel Good

Don’t waste time on things that don’t feel good” She says to me smiling sweetly. It seems so simple when she says it in between bites of a delicious sinful egg and english muffin sandwich, comfort food I would never let myself have but would secretly crave. The strict New York woman I have become-gotta be fit!. And healthy.! No time for going off the diet… But secretly craving something sinful. She challenged me. To see how strict and regimented I had become. How often I didn’t let the animal instinctual part of myself out to taste life. To make mistakes and fall down and get a little messy in pursuit of the soul. Get a little messy in pursuit of soul….I had to say it again to hear the deliciousness of these words.

She had let herself do these things. Have a beer at 9 in the morning one time and smoke pot with the cute stranger at the party, when she had a serious client in the morning. One time she ditched out on two online course times just because she HAD to go dancing…..Somehow she was able to indulge in these things without letting it get like totally out of hand. She was able to take small sips of pleasure just to balance her equation of meditation, yoga, and the spiritual search. She was able somehow to stay balanced, whilst being a rebel. It was impressive. And I wanted it. And she knew I wanted it and I felt was secretly taunting me a little, in a good way, to make me see my own desires and witness my own up tightness….To also be show that it was okay, and actually beneficial to follow the path of the hedonist at times.  The sacred hedonist. Not to escape life but to celebrate it. There was a win win in celebration.

It created a spark. A glow. A fragrance of something wild and potential and illuminating. It opened doors, it signed checks, it got the balls rolling, it found partners and friends and houses and jobs. Because celebration was infectious. It was a fire that burned things down to open things back up. It was the magic elixir that juiced all the parts to keep them working and humming and loving and moving. Celebration. It was the ultimate YES to life and something this great planet was missing way too much of…because of a deep misunderstanding of what it actually was and is. Of the potent healing affect of celebration, of the way it challenged all our out dated beliefs that sacrafice was the way to the good life.

I began to look at all the things I had done that week that didn’t feel good. I continued to practice yoga at a studio that I just didn’t like. The teachers were rude, the postures made my body hurt and worse than that it smelled and the people looked a little bit crazy. But I continued to go, feeling bad about being “judgemental” and maybe it was “good for me”. But it wasn’t and I knew it. I had accepted an apartment in a neighborhood I had never felt good in. I thought well maybe this time, I would. But I didn’t. In fact I felt oppressed and un-inspired. Spending time with a friend whose beliefs and words about life left me feeling turned off and a bit retracted. A bit like “why am I hanging out with someone who believes these things about life and its people?“A bit like “why do I spend time in a place where I don’t feel seen or heard?” I found myself thinking maybe I was expecting too much….I was needy…I was wounded…..all of these thoughts made it MY fault. When maybe the person was kind of a jerk….You know, it happens like this sometimes. People are jerks and it has nothing to do with us. Why was it always my fault for whatever dynamic I was feeling with another? For sure there are two people creating the dynamic, but why was it always MY fault?

I began to notice all the ways I was not standing my ground for things I believe in, things I wanted, things I felt passionately for. At the movies with a friend I really wanted to see the one about the girl who keeps going but I found myself saying “whatever you want to see” to a friend who was more than happy to choose the one about the guy with the sword. As I was planning my travels to another city I found myself saying yes to accommodations I was less than jazzed about. Accommodations I could have created in a different way if I had only just chosen to go with the inner promptings and desire. Little things in life, but still….I was letting life just happen without my participation and I was desperate to figure out why. Why was I letting life pass me by without claiming some piece of it as mine instead of defaulting to whatever everybody else wanted? Why was what others wanted more important than what I wanted. Especially if in many circumstances there were some definite desires unfolding.….

I don’t have the answer yet, other than a cliche new age answer I can give you, that I really don’t want to give you until I have really worked it out within and revealed something of truth. I did however follow the reccomendation of a friend and ordered this book…

//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=breathworknyc-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=1592403352&asins=1592403352&linkId=ZQFQEWMDLMV7CIGW&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true

Blessings on your path…I will write more on this topic soon when I have uncovered a meaningful answer that isn’t straight up cliche or psycho spiritual babble:)

Blessings

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

FEBRUARY: COMMITTED CHOICE

I absolutely adore Mystic Mamma’s posts. In this one she talks about February as being a month of committed choice. As someone who often has a challenging time to make a committed choice, I must say I find it refreshing to read this post which I feels breaks down a lot of the fear of the choice thing and how IMPORTANTE it is to gather this skill and apply THIS month…One of the committments I have made is to creating this blog with even more content and decadence, because I LOVE to write and share myself thru words, so expect alot more content from me and please comment at the bottom…

From Mommy Mystic:

“January’s theme of RESET brought with it numerous opportunities for change and change often brings choices and decisions.

“Some choices and decisions are generated by your own chosen resets and some are a result of a reset you may have experienced from the outside.

“As we enter February we encounter good influences that will take your choices and decisions and feed them with some momentum allowing for action, manifestation and flow.

“There are two elements that are necessary for this to happen: Commitment and discipline. Commitment to the choices and decisions you have made will ensure that you get the most out of them. It is a message to spirit that you are truly serious about what you have chosen and intended, what you desire and wish for.

“This is not a month to be sitting on the fence or to regret your choices or to think the grass is greener on the other side. This is a time to be committed to your life and the choices you have made in a way that leaves no room for ambivalence and no back door.” -Mommy Mystic

For more of this wonderful article that has helped me tremendously simply click here:

http://www.mysticmamma.com/the-theme-for-february-2016-is-committed-choice/

And as always if you are needing more support or are interested in tantric healings in person or by skype feel free to visit my website: www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Blessings and Love Dear Friends….

 

 

 

Yoni Massage: The Gateway to Feminine Healing

527721_360980377335883_1641217043_nWhat exactly is this famous Yoni Massage about anyway? Why are women seeking this experience now more than ever and why are men so interested in learning how to give them? Is it just another erotic woo hoo thing? And what can one expect to receive and experience if one actually seeks one out and receives this delicious gift to the self?

First of all the Yoni massage is about healing and empowerment. The focus is not on having outrageous orgasms that have you doing cartwheels, although this may happen, the focus is not solely on reaching some sexual goal. It is about celebrating and liberating this powerful area of the woman’s body so that she has more access to her sensations, feelings and erotic potential as well as her creativity and divine shakti, or feminine essence which affects all areas of her life. It awakens Kundalini, the potent spiritual life force, that once awakened brings about higher consciousness and more expansion.  It can be very emotional, very energetic, very arousing or very quiet and peaceful. It is truly a unique experience each and every time and one must show up to the experience, whether giving or receiving, and truly surrender to the moment, to the here and now and let the healing unfold without a goal in mind.

The Yoni Massage is a powerful way to access stored or blocked energy, clear trauma or abuse and heal emotional wounds. Women can hold both personal and collective feminine wounds in this area of their body that can affect their ability to feel pleasure, can actually create pain or numbness or may simply be energetic holdings that only reveal themselves during the massage.  Simply having good sex or a wild sex life is not necessarily going to access these places. The primary reason is because in sex you are normally having in exchange with an intimate partner,  and with the Yoni Massage, you are invited to practice receiving from a therapist who is trained to hold space and facilitate healing. Being in a receptive energy while experiencing your body’s sexual energy, is a profound healing in and of itself for many women. Because it asks us to listen, inside our bodies and souls and get to know these intimate spaces even deeper. Practically speaking, the yoni massage is a very clear healing technique to massage the woman’s vagina, otherwise known as Yoni, that accesses the reflexology points that correspond to the entire body. This is why the yoni massage can feel so good, because it impacts the entire system. It also accesses the Sacred Spot, or G-spot, a sensitive and powerful area of the vagina that is the holding area of much history, energy and imprinting, which can usually remained buried unless accessed in this way.

It also involves breathwork, and the practice of awareness, so that the person receiving is actively participating in their own clearing and release as well as activation and pleasure.  The breath helps the recipient be present to what is happening in the moment, so that one can access what the body is communicating and what emotions are there to be felt. It also helps the energy circulate and build to clear and charge the system, and deepen the connection to life. The facilitator is there offering his/her presence to the recipients process, and is trained to feel when the body is tensing up or holding in certain areas. The breath and the coaching of the particular breathing techniques, help the woman open up even deeper to her erotic potential and her sexual healing and help her move past resistance and open up more fully to joy and pleasure. Never underestimate Joy and Pleasure to be profound healing tools, it is not just suffering that can help us grow, this is the outdated story of healing. Joy and Pleasure and letting them in to expand our lives, can be some of the most powerful breakthrus we have as women. How often have we been taught that our pleasure was wrong, or bad, or dirty? How often have we been taught that other’s needs come before our own? How often were we ever taught about the power of this area of our bodies? Or that our pleasure and Joy naturally spills forth to everything and everyone we meet?  If you were taught these things growing up, wonderful! But many of us weren’t and now, we are catching up to getting to know the divine vessels we travel this life with. It is a gift to know the magic in our feminine jewels.

From the book “Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy, Michaela Riedl writes ”

I like to call yoni massage, the “heart” of massages, since they offer access to a woman’s most intimate area. In no other massage does a woman show as much of her personal and vulnerable side. With each Yoni massage that I give, I develop deeper insight into the sensuality, tenderness, and significance of the female center.

The Yoni has a receptive nature that corresponds to the female principle. For example, it receives the semen and all energies that are linked to it. Every sexual act and action for women means a complete opening of themselves, a reception of everything  that happens in that moment. The woman receives and stores information in her yoni,-information from personal experiences and from stories that have shaped entire generations of women. The yoni, the magical heart place, is thus home to many secrets, a place that recounts the smallest injuries and the greatest moments, as long as we can open its doors.

 

You are worth every ounce of love, time and attention. Don’t be stingy with yourself.

I will be writing more articles in the coming weeks to further expand on the art and healing of the Yoni Massage, one blog post is definitely not enough….

Blessings to you on your way, if I may support you in any way do not hesitate to contact me.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

Slowing Down:: Acknowledging Your Womb Wisdom:: 8 Delicious Ways to Be A Pussy

13162_840201576032683_9145546287106111740_nHave you heard that expression, “a woman’s work is never done”, well, you have because it’s true.  Women have more demands on them than any living creature I have ever known and are the most adept at juggling family life, career, health, hobbies, girlfriends, the emotional landscape of being woman, the societal demands on how we should look, and the pressures from our peers to be “Goddesses”. I use this term loosely, not because I don’t respect it as a word, nor because I don’t believe in the holy power of the goddess, She is definitely a living being. Starting with the ground we walk and the air we breathe. But I for one, am exhausted at how much I find myself running to keep up with everyone’s definition of what Goddess means, and what demands I have placed on myself to achieve this idea of perfection. To prove I am one.

When I got hit with the Flu for 3 days, something I never get, I just am not one of those people, I had to stop and pause for a second….And ask myself…why was I running myself so hard? What was I trying to prove with all the things I thought I was “doing”. And at the core of it was this ancient fear for the male “boss” I had projected my man wounds on and was afraid to voice myself too, afraid of being called a “Pussy”. Who wants to be a “pussy”? Wait, except, I loved pussies, so what was I so afraid of? I was all about Pussies….maybe I should just surrender and be a “pussy”…… and give it the correct definition.

So here it is…..(drum roll)

8 TIPS TO PROVE YOUR PUSSY POWER

1. You don’t carry heavy shit. Look, you can, it’s not that you won’t but with all the things you are doing all day long, taking care of everyone, looking beautiful, finding god, making food, and organizing business meetings, you really don’t want to spend time carrying things that are 1/3 the weight for these other beings called Men. Why should you carry the heavy stuff? He’s better at it. Find a He and Ask. Usually, the great thing is, if you ask nice, they really like to flex their muscles.

2. You don’t PUSH…..You don’t PULL……you simply RECEIVE…..Read that once more. Out Loud. To everyone in sight. This is the new dawn of grace. Sometimes we are great at these words and lousy at the practice. We receive by tuning in and vibrating our goddess charms all thru us and shower them on life in all its manifestations…..This is called Magic. Magic is the stuff of dreams. Dreams are stuff of the night. The night has the moon. The moon is Her. You are Her. Enough said.

3. Your Womb Feeling is Your Gut Feeling, is Your Saving Grace…..: That means TUNE IN. All the time. Without this you will not hear the guidance that is flowing thru you like water, all the day and all the night. Give up trying to understand it. Just listen to it. Feel it. It’s often poetic, mostly wise and always very simple. It lives in your womb. Yes where babies are made and no you don’t need to have had a baby to sense it. It’s Womb Wisdom. Just go stare at that picture of that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you left, that you knew was not good for you. Notice the feeling in your belly. That’s your womb talking to you. Loud and clear…You know when you know. We all have been there…

4. YES, Even Today Is a Good Day to Dress Up. Pretty Does Matter…..Because it matters to you…because it matters when and where and how you dress to please yourself. If you feel like dressing up or putting on lipstick or glitter or earrings or some strange feather eye mask, or your favorite sneakers you are allowed, because. You get to do what you want, because it feels good, because you know that feeling good, will help others have permission to feel good too. Because you just like it. Because its pretty.

5. WHEN TIRED….You Rest. This is a very, very  important one…when you are tired, that means rest. That means, you must tell others you are resting, that means you must take that rest to be mind/body/spirit rest. That means, you take your mind out of figuring out how it is all going to work out and you simply hand it over to the Goddess, and say “I am resting, can you hold this?”. And She Will. So. Just Do it. Rest.

6. JUICE YOURSELF:: This means two things;; drink fresh juice…like from vegetables. This is way way helpful. It makes your skin glow, your energy rise, it makes you happy. Second it means:: Do something fun. Take a dance class, see a girlfriend, paint your nails, go see good art, ride a bike, play with kids, watch the sunset, walk barefoot thru the sand, LAUGH, tell an erotic story, do something JUICY….related to fun, inspiration, creativity, sensuality…whatever it is that gets you saying YES to being alive. Go and do it. You can also do that too just make sure you also receive some pleasure and not just give.

7. You Help. You help others, when it also feels good for you. You don’t help when you are half falling over. You help when you truly have an overflowing cup and it is a pleasure to help. You help out of gratitude, out of joy, out of service to a larger universe. You help out of love. Not out of hoping to get some love, or helping with an agenda of the other person now helping you next, or with the idea that you “should” help. You help because it is intensely pleasurable. You help because it makes you happy. When someone needs help and you don’t have it to give, you look around for that person who does have it to give and you delegate. If it’s just you and you have 3 screaming kids and no man or woman around, you put a movie on, you call a friend, you do what you can to find the peace so that you also receive help. You help as much as you ask for help. Muy importante.

8. You like cats. Just kidding. But not really. Because if you want to truly be a pussy, just watch a cat. She/He will show you everything you need to know about perfecting the Art. Lie around, look deeply at life, move fast, leap, purr, scratch when you don’t like something, nuzzle in when you do, be gorgeous. It’s easy. And in only 8 steps…..Purrrr…..

Love to All the Women Out There Who Do More Than The World Will Ever Recognize.

I Recognize You and So Does She.

Love and Gratitude.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

Relearning Touch :: How to Heal After Past Sexual Trauma

296233_251405934905342_93453528_nA large part of my work is helping people who have experienced sexual abuse. This is a very intense thing to have gone thru and not something that you can really rush thru. Sometimes, it manifests as a sexual issue and then upon addressing the sexual issue the abuse comes up to the surface. Over and over, what I have come to experience in my practice is that sexual abuse is something that is not often talked about and very often swept under the carpet. It never ceases to amaze me how often I hear of sexual abuse, and the person tells me they have never seen a therapist for it. If you have had sexual abuse, there are trained people, who are very knowledgable about this subject. Seek them out. It is much more common than you would guess and going for your healing, is an empowering and liberating choice for your life on all levels.

I am not a trained therapist in these issues, but I have trained in various sexual healing techniques, particularly thru tantra. I am now reading a very wonderful book about sexual abuse and am constantly getting further education about it. One of the essential things I have found, is that a person needs to re learn how to be in their body and feel safe. One of the books I am reading;; “The Sexual Healing Journey” by Wendy Maltz talks about re-learning touch and how important it is to re-introduce yourself to touch. Not just sexual touch…just plain touch.

She writes::

” If survivors had no choice about who touched them sexually, or when or how or where, they may automatically assume that all touch leads to sex. Survivors may avoid touch that is sensuous and intimate but outside the sexual context: a friend’s hug, a coworker’s handshake, a nurse’s massage. A woman who had been abused by her mother, father, and brother described the dilemma: ” ‘I grew up without nurturing touch and with lots of inappropriate sexual touching. Now I am confused about touch. I’m afraid to trust someone to touch me and unsure that my touch will be received with pleasure if I touch someone else.'”

Survivors can’t erase the past. They were sexually abused and may never had a chance to learn to enjoy being touched. But it’s not too late to begin learning to enjoy touch now. It is possible to build a new mental file, a place to tuck away fresh, enjoyable memories, about touch, like saving snapshots from a wonderful trip. By creating new experiences, survivors can take off in directions they never dreamed they could travel…..

To enhance sexual healing, survivors can now go back and rebuild a healthy continuum of touch experiences. The key to remember is that sexual pleasuring comes after-and not until-you have learned to feel safe and comfortable with nonsexual touch…..

Survivors need to feel well-practiced in their ability to relax, stay present, and guide the touch activity before they can enjoy the unique pleasures inherent in sexual touch.

 

She goes on to describe some very good touch exercises, that are simple and playful, non-sexual. If you would like to read more form her book….click below and order thru amazon, it is one of the most complete and thorough books I have ever read….

 

Blessings on your path and way. May you have the courage to heal and transmute all that is unfinished inside of you.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

A New Book I Love:: Tantric Orgasm for Women by Diana Richardson

10599376_10152808101891454_2601466880874944407_nAs always, I am reading, reading, reading and constantly learning more about Tantra, sexual healing and all things men and women. A few years ago I was traveling in Greece when I met this fascinating, electric woman who carried herself with such a presence I admired her from afar for awhile. Then thru the course of the week (we were in a big group of people staying at the same lodge) I began to have more opportunity to speak with her and she shared that she was a Tantra teacher! Yay,,,,plus one for my intuitive feeling and knowing. I immediately wanted to know more and she shared with me a few titles of her books but that her book for women wasn’t out yet.

Well fast forward a few years and its out now, and I am reading it. I am so blown away with how much she writes from her heart and with the spirit of meditation in sex. The other book she and her partner , Michael Richardson,,wrote together is Tantric Sex for Men:: Making Love a Meditation. Also excellent but I have only flipped thru as I am still reading the book for women. Stay tuned.

Just to give you a taste….

She writes ” When a woman knows it is possible to use her sexual energy rightfully, allowing it to circulate throughout the body orgasmically, her sense of self changes and she WANTS to make love. Sex becomes less to do with the other or with getting something and becomes more a way of valuing and loving oneself, of being with oneself. With insight into her body mechanisms she is able to direct her sexual energy and so be more in command of her life. The process of the body getting older and perhaps less attractive becomes of no real concern, in the sense that she knows how to attract the male principle when a man is in her presence, how to draw and drink from him, through understanding the deeper layers of sexual energy. It has nothing to with how she looks or how old she is. She bypasses the superficiality of sex and steps directly in to the female element, which is passive, relaxed, receptive, sweet, serene, open. Such an ambiance in itself stimulates man to respond to woman in a way quite different from how he usually responds.

So true. I couldn’t agree more. The more often I nourish myself, and spend time looking inward and getting to know my soul, and clearing my belief system,  the more often I find men noticing me. So many time you leave the house without make up in gym clothes etc, but you are alive and feeling that feminine juice and suddenly you have that guy bumbling all over himself to open your doors or talk to you. The times I spend all this effort to dress up, look a certain way etc but have not paid attention to my insides, to my heart and soul….I can feel it. There is less spark. Men don’t pay attention as much. Now when I have done my tantric practice, things go thru the roof! Whether dressed up or not:)

” The fragrance of a woman settled in her essence exerts an attractive force on  man that alters the whole nature of the sexual act–it is a dimensional shift” Diana Richardson

So here is to really making love a meditation and claiming the sacred energy of sex and womanhood….

If you would like to read more click below to order your copy….

And to head to my website, visit www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Blessings and All Good Things….

The Sexual Healing Journey

Recently I have been reading a great book called The Sexual Healing Journey by Wendy Maltz. Recently, and also in the past, I have gotten these waves of people reaching out to me with the desire to clear and cleanse alot of sexual abuse or inability to really enjoy themselves sexually. I am not a trained therapist but I do have a BA in psychology so I do have a bit of background in traditional therapy. But her book is really rocking my world. As I am continuing to understand the depth of how sexual abuse can affect a person’s life I am simply humbled. How often this kinds of abuse gets pushed under the rug or rarely if ever talked about.  They say 1 in 3 women will experience some sort of sexual abuse in their lifetime. And 1 in 6 men!

What I keep reading over and over is how the memory of past abuse gets triggered and the different ways it can manifest in life. From an addictiveness to sex to simply avoiding it all together. To understand how the body/mind holds trauma and tends to replay it until the trauma is released is revealing such a deeper appreciation for how our psyche and our physical systems help us heal.

BE PRESENT

The most important part of the healing journey begins with learning to be present with whatever comes up for you around being sexual. A big part of each stage of healing requires an ability to slow down, get present and acknowledge whatever behaviors or feelings you find yourself in. This ability to get present sounds very simple, almost too easy, but the truth is, getting present in the midst of our patterns of relating to ourselves and others requires practice. It also requires the understanding about how powerful it is to GET present. In presence we take a step back and are able to witness our inner feelings and outside behaviors. It allows us to have the space to see where a choice is possible to make a change and begin to give ourselves what we really need to heal. I have found that getting present and taking a BREATH can be some of the most powerful and life changing work I have ever done to heal. It sounds so simple and it is. And it is the foundation for all the rest of the healing practices we can do.

Sometimes we may not be aware that we have been the victims of sexual abuse or perhaps it is a buried memory. Some behaviors that Wendy Maltz notes that can result from sexual abuse are:

“-Avoiding or withdrawing from sex.

-Faking sexual interest

-Allowing sex to be forced.

-Combining sex and emotional or physical abuse.

-Habitually using pornography.

-Engaging in medically risky sex.

-Having anonymous sex.

-Engaging in secretive sex which generates feeings of  shame.

-Have sex with near strangers.

-Engaging in prostitution.

-Making sexually degrading jokes.

-Having abusive sexual fantasies.

-Have sex in relationships that lack intimacy.

-Having sex under dishonest circumstances.

-Visiting topless bars, strip shows, and or adult book stores.

And these are only but a few she mentions….and certainly you can engage in these behaviors and NOT have been abused.

She writes: ” If you find your present behaviors described in this checklist, you may be unconsciously replaying or mirroring sexual abuse. Sometimes referred to as a repetition compulsion, this instant replay can be a survivor’s unconcsious way of tyring to understand what happened and to resolve inner emotional stress by acting out the abuse again and again. Staging replays may be a way of desentisizing ourselves to the shame, disgust, or pain we felt in the abuse. Replays may also be an effort to gain some mastery and control over even our worst experiences.”-Wendy Maltz

I think its important to really learn to take that step back and get present without judgement, on any of our sexual behaviors and be extremely honest with ourselves with what behaviors really serve us in the long run and what we truly want to experience in our sexual lives. Most people, I do think, want to experience a loving, erotic and connected experience with a committed partner. And by committed I do mean a committment that works for you both, not necessarily monogamy or marriage.

Things to think about….I will discuss more from this book as I am finding the content so rich….

If you want to order yourself here is the link:

All blessings on your path to greater sexual wholeness and healing….

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Ecstasy IS Necessary:: Clips from Barbra Carrellas New Book

8005_287904214692503_1946658236_nWhat a wonderful world it is when you come to a house of a friend and she ends up having fabulous books that you had on your book list. I am back on the horse so to speak with this blog….Thanks to ALL who are reading it and my apologies as I drop off the face of the earth at times. I simply need to unplug and dive into deep inner processes within myself and beyond myself to balance my system…

But now I am “above” ground and ready to contribute sensual, tantric, healing posts that inspire, enliven, educate, and hopefully add some spice and energy to your worlds. And as always I hope to bring you into a deeper inquiry investigating the nature of “reality” and what it is that TRULY feeds your soul. And how sensuality and sex are so profoundly interwoven into all of this, regardless if your having it or not.

I’m reading Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbra Carrellas and she invites us (the readers) to get in touch with our Authentic Sexual Self. So that we can really discover how we operate in terms of relationship, sexual style, and erotic appetite. Most of what we have learned is pretty cookie cutter as if sex was a one size fits all experience. We are also so bombarded by guilt and shame in this country around anything related to pleasure, and I don’t just mean sexual pleasure, I mean any kind of sensual pleasure-relaxing, getting a massage, enjoying a good meal, taking a walk for no reason. Especially here in NYC where so many of us are in work overdrive, to stay competitive, on our edge and keeping up. I was astounded by the answers she received when she began to ask people “Why do you do sex?””What does it give you?” “Whats the delight?” and “Whats the big pay off?” She says “the truth is we don’t all do sex for the same reasons”.

Here are the some of the answers she came up with:: (There were many more but I chose the ones that really stood out for me)

-To Connect /communicate with another person.

-To turn my brain off.

-To lighten up.

-To feel Wanted and Needed.

-To explore different sides of my personality.

-To Open My Heart

-To experience Altered States

-It Makes Me Feel Grounded

-Its the most authentic time I have with myself

-It’s one of the only ways I enjoy being present in my body.

Doesn’t this open up so much more your view of the human being? So often I feel like subtly we look at sexual appetite as some lecherous, needy experience, so conditioned we are to see men as dogs and women as whores. Of course our view is not so extreme but in the sub-conscious if we are really honest with our judgement I am sure we can find those extreme belief systems inside of us. I credit this mostly to religion and the media. But when we strip away our superficial conscious mind and begin to question what really motivates us to seek sex, its amazing what we might find. Uncovering our authentic needs and desires, helps us to get CLEAR, about what we are really seeking, have more compassion for ourselves and our partners. It also helps us to see that the people we are in partnership with may have a totally different reason why they enjoy sex and by understanding what really makes them tick, we can create more nourishing sexual exchanges.

She writes” The longer I talked to people about the true value sex had in their lives, the more I could see a through line. The majority of people reported that they liked sex because of some form of connection. What differed was what they preferred to be in connection with. Some people wanted to be in connection with another person. Others wanted connection with God/Goddess/All That Is. Some wanted connection with an aspect of themselves, while others wanted a feeling of purpose, or aliveness, or love, or inner peace. I personally subscribe to the theory that all human desire for connection is a desire for connection with the divine, for connection with God/Goddess/Universe/All That Is. Sex and sexual energy allow us a direct physical experience of the divine within ourselves and with others–a direct connection to the center of everything.”

I love her. Thank you Barbra. She speaks to my soul about this path of Sensual Tantric Healing….to embrace this incredible energy of our sexuality as being divine, and NECESSARY for us to heal as whole human beings.

If you want to Read more of Ecstasy is Necessary click here to order her book thru amazon…

And check out my site as I begin to add some new offerings, pictures and more….Blessings as always on your healing path, may love guide your way home.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Reclaiming Your Sensual Potential

527721_360980377335883_1641217043_nI am currently taking an online tantra training with Devi Ward, learning some basics of the Tibetan 5 element tantric approach. Part of my “homework” is to do a pleasure ritual for myself, light the candles, play the music, explore the pussy. Not just any ole pussy. But my own pussy. And practice the art of self pleasure that Devi has shared with me, based on breathing, sound, and deeply investigating what it means to open all the parts of my own delicious vagina on my  own through conscious touch. And I have to admit…I am struggling with this. I keep putting my homework off.

Now don’t think I am some prude or something, for sure I am NOT, but for all the ways I can hold space for other women to unfold,  and absolutely know in my gut this work is needed for the healing of our planet on so many levels, (it would take another article to go into), I still have to face my own resistance to pleasure. I still have to face my own habit of putting my own pleasure on the back burner in favor of what I am comfortable with:: Helping others experience, and sharing the education….keeping the focus off myself. And yet, without making the time for myself and my own pleasure what kind of help can I really provide…? (more on that again, in another post).

So I went to Devi’s blog looking for inspiration when I realized how resistant I was to giving myself this time…and found this timeless article by Ms. Ward,  that reminded me why this work is so important….We truly have been  conditioned to think of the word pleasure in a way that is counter to what it really is…..we have built up resistances that lodge in our sub-conscious so tightly we can be hardly aware that its there! Here I am an advocate for sensual healing and health and I still come up against resistance…Its normal or rather I should say it is the norm. We have not been gifted this kind of sensual education or awareness from our society, it simply hasn’t been there even as a language, we wouldn’t of even known how to ask the questions for most of us. Many of the things I learned in school and from my friends and family about sex had nothing to do with the reality of sex once I arrived at being sexual active. I was given tampons in junior high, menstral blood was considered gross and all I knew about sex is that if any of the nasty white stuff that came out of the guys penis got inside me, I would become an after school special movie of the week.  Good girls didn’t like sex and bad girls definitely got alot of attention. To touch yourself or even talk about it was hidden or giggled about. Boys doing it was “gross”. And yet. There were a whole host of experiences I could never explain, that made me KNOW deep down…..there was something way deeper to this whole sex thing, and for sure, I was going to find out.

Fast forward a few years and here I am. Fascinated by sex, humbled by my work, floored by what people share with me about their experiences. I constantly have to tell people this work goes way beyond a desire for sexual gratification and into areas so tender and true to the soul, one day a book (I pray) hopes to emerge that opens our eyes to what sexuality can really offer us as a humanity, when we bring our hearts and education to it. And still, despite the other tantra trainings I have done, the communities of open minded people I have been blessed with, and my own personal exploration in all sorts of sexual worlds both privately and with friends, still. The self pleasure homework gets put on the back burner….This is not to beat myself up, this is truly to say:: I now realize how much this work is needed….

For more from Devi Ward:

“From Chapter 2. of “Shake Your Soul-Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art Of Self-Pleasure”

We are born into this world of sensory experience~ sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell.

Each of our 5 senses also relates to the 5 elements ~fire, space, earth, water, and air ~ which make up our relative or “experiential” environment.

As children we delight in our sensual experience.

We want to taste it, touch it, feel it, understand it, know it.”…..

To read more click here:

http://deviward.me/2012/10/06/reclaiming-your-sensual-potentia/

For her website dedicated to the sensual empowerment of women, click here:

www.femininemergence.com

For more information about my work:

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Blessings to all Ladies Willing to Take That Leap Into the Unknown and Risk What Happens When You Choose to Reclaim Your Sensual Soul. Remember that Love is the best medicine.