Ecstasy IS Necessary:: Clips from Barbra Carrellas New Book

8005_287904214692503_1946658236_nWhat a wonderful world it is when you come to a house of a friend and she ends up having fabulous books that you had on your book list. I am back on the horse so to speak with this blog….Thanks to ALL who are reading it and my apologies as I drop off the face of the earth at times. I simply need to unplug and dive into deep inner processes within myself and beyond myself to balance my system…

But now I am “above” ground and ready to contribute sensual, tantric, healing posts that inspire, enliven, educate, and hopefully add some spice and energy to your worlds. And as always I hope to bring you into a deeper inquiry investigating the nature of “reality” and what it is that TRULY feeds your soul. And how sensuality and sex are so profoundly interwoven into all of this, regardless if your having it or not.

I’m reading Ecstasy is Necessary by Barbra Carrellas and she invites us (the readers) to get in touch with our Authentic Sexual Self. So that we can really discover how we operate in terms of relationship, sexual style, and erotic appetite. Most of what we have learned is pretty cookie cutter as if sex was a one size fits all experience. We are also so bombarded by guilt and shame in this country around anything related to pleasure, and I don’t just mean sexual pleasure, I mean any kind of sensual pleasure-relaxing, getting a massage, enjoying a good meal, taking a walk for no reason. Especially here in NYC where so many of us are in work overdrive, to stay competitive, on our edge and keeping up. I was astounded by the answers she received when she began to ask people “Why do you do sex?””What does it give you?” “Whats the delight?” and “Whats the big pay off?” She says “the truth is we don’t all do sex for the same reasons”.

Here are the some of the answers she came up with:: (There were many more but I chose the ones that really stood out for me)

-To Connect /communicate with another person.

-To turn my brain off.

-To lighten up.

-To feel Wanted and Needed.

-To explore different sides of my personality.

-To Open My Heart

-To experience Altered States

-It Makes Me Feel Grounded

-Its the most authentic time I have with myself

-It’s one of the only ways I enjoy being present in my body.

Doesn’t this open up so much more your view of the human being? So often I feel like subtly we look at sexual appetite as some lecherous, needy experience, so conditioned we are to see men as dogs and women as whores. Of course our view is not so extreme but in the sub-conscious if we are really honest with our judgement I am sure we can find those extreme belief systems inside of us. I credit this mostly to religion and the media. But when we strip away our superficial conscious mind and begin to question what really motivates us to seek sex, its amazing what we might find. Uncovering our authentic needs and desires, helps us to get CLEAR, about what we are really seeking, have more compassion for ourselves and our partners. It also helps us to see that the people we are in partnership with may have a totally different reason why they enjoy sex and by understanding what really makes them tick, we can create more nourishing sexual exchanges.

She writes” The longer I talked to people about the true value sex had in their lives, the more I could see a through line. The majority of people reported that they liked sex because of some form of connection. What differed was what they preferred to be in connection with. Some people wanted to be in connection with another person. Others wanted connection with God/Goddess/All That Is. Some wanted connection with an aspect of themselves, while others wanted a feeling of purpose, or aliveness, or love, or inner peace. I personally subscribe to the theory that all human desire for connection is a desire for connection with the divine, for connection with God/Goddess/Universe/All That Is. Sex and sexual energy allow us a direct physical experience of the divine within ourselves and with others–a direct connection to the center of everything.”

I love her. Thank you Barbra. She speaks to my soul about this path of Sensual Tantric Healing….to embrace this incredible energy of our sexuality as being divine, and NECESSARY for us to heal as whole human beings.

If you want to Read more of Ecstasy is Necessary click here to order her book thru amazon…

And check out my site as I begin to add some new offerings, pictures and more….Blessings as always on your healing path, may love guide your way home.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

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Opening Prayers of Healing

56814_449403558449707_652988619_oWhen a client walks thru my door, and I would really rather not refer to them as “clients”, lets say “Guests”. When a guest walks thru my door I must admit there is sometimes a bit of hesitation, also known as resistance. After talking to some fellow Dakini friends, they revealed they sometimes feel this way too. Resistance. Hesitation. Not feeling up to it. Wishing to be somewhere else. I used to feel a bit ashamed about this. Am I a “real” Dakini if I feel this way? Shouldn’t I be loving every second of every session if I am truly a REAL Tantrika?…Well….not really.

Here is the thing. We ALL have resistance about everything. It’s human nature. The shadow exists. It’s in how we meet that resistance and hesitation, especially before a session that creates that magic in a session. After talking to my amazing Tantra mentor about it, she revealed she felt the same resistance before sessions and just chooses to embrace it. How fabulous!! Embrace the resistance. Isn’t this what I am sharing in my sessions, embracing everything, every sensation, every feeling and breathing with it, thru it, exhaling into the experience without judgement? Magic things happen when we do this. Expansion. I see it with my guests all the time….

Now I begin a prayer before the guest comes. It is always different but sometimes sounds like this::”Dear wise and deep goddess, embrace me and this fellow soul to meet in oneness, in healing and truth. Allow me to open to your call, to your grace, to your beauty as the sacred vessel I am, so that I can hold the door open for this fellow soul to meet his or her self in the highest possible way. Allow me to be at peace with the resistance in my body, allow me to not fight my experience but to breathe with it as part of the great whole so that in this way, I invite this guest to honor their experience as well. Allow only the highest good of all involved to be revealed in this meeting and allow all darkness to be transformed into light”.

Having started this, saying this quietly or internally, seated ideally meditating or if I don’t have time, as I am setting up the room or preparing myself, I invoke the highest possible frequency and I embrace myself exactly where I am and as the perfect point for the healing to start. This starting prayer is everything in my work. Without it at the beginning, I can start it in the middle of the session if I forget it at the beginning, but it is much more challenging to lay the foundation of quality energy down. When I start it at the beginning, I find I naturally come back to the intention thrughout the session and the power of the healing is magnified. If I get a little sidetracked in the session or the guest comes in with alot of stress or alot of mind, the prayer just grounds me and keeps the energy steady.

In this way, the bodywork, the breath, the sounding all becoming embodied prayers. No matter where the energy goes, or what the guest experiences or needs to release, the prayer is protecting the whole container. To set this container up at the beginning of a session makes EVERYTHING that much easier. It is also FUN. Prayer is an art. You can create your own, find chants or mantras that inspire you, or even sing your prayers. It’s all about the devotion in your heart, it’s all about you connecting to that larger source and the guest, no matter where they are at on their tantric journey, WILL feel it. I have had the most amazing experiences with people who completely blew my mind’s ideas of what I thought they could handle or who I thought they were. Calling in the soul, is for everyone, if for all of life, and even if a person gets just a little taste, you lay the foundation for them to experience more. To remember an experience, to open up that much more the next time.

I often find myself guiding them with words during the session and this too, becomes an extension of the opening prayer. The quality of my voice, the intention behind it. It may just be simple instructions but the words are part of the embodied prayer.

Sensual Tantric Healing is a living, embodied prayer for healing, pleasure, connection and joy. Empowerment is a by-product. Freedom happens naturally. What a dance of love.  So grateful.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

The Crone:: A Face of the Goddess

It is no wonder that the Crone aspect of the Triple Goddess is the most feared and misunderstood. She represents the most frightening aspects of our humanity; destruction and death, fears we have yet to face and mysteries that we have yet to know. While most of us would love to dwell in the youth and light of the Maiden and Mother Goddesses, we cannot deny the Crone’s presence. Though we may try to push her to the backs of our minds, the Crone makes herself known by emerging in the horrifying forms of our nightmares and deepest fears. But it is only because most of us dread to look her in the eyes that she emerges in such terrifying forms. If we could learn to truly face her and therefore our own dark natures, we would see that she holds within her the wisdom and strength which we need to heal ourselves emotionally and to become more spiritually complete.
~Dominae~