Pleasuring a Woman: How Tantra is Not a Quick Fix

11059924_10153179685165926_9152281571664416257_nI get this request alot….I want to learn how to pleasure a woman. I want to learn how to give a woman massive orgasms. I want to learn what women like. I want to learn what women want….

When I tell them, first and foremost, women need to be listened to, seen and heard by a present, collected in the moment kind of guy….they kind of rustle a bit…..squirm. I know they had imagined learning the magic points on a woman’s yoni and hearing new kinds of sounds from within her, but the truth of the matter is, is that if you don’t get the basics down, all the sexy magic tricks are going to amount to zero. Technique can always be learned, real instinct and energy have to be cultivated.

Ever been with a guy who says he is master lover and he knows all these things but then when he touches your leg its kind of cold and clammy and he isn’t really listening to anything you are saying or barely making eye contact?. Or if he is making eye contact all you can feel is his anticipation that you are going to take your clothes off? I think most women have experienced this kind of energy from men…It really does suck. You kind of feel bad for them because they are trying so hard to make something happen. They are puffing themselves up to somehow impress you but you see right thru it. And you are not turned on. But you kind of wish you could be, because here is a guy who really is trying but he keeps missing it. Without presence (the male energy) the feminine cannot surrender and be the flower, the dazzling, moving, colorful aspect of the duality.

Tantra is not a quick fix for becoming a master lover…..It is a path to gaining that mastery. For sure some people are quick studies or just plain naturals. But the fact of the matter is, most of what we have been taught about sexuality and the opposite sex is a big lie. And we have to unlearn alot of our habitual patterns. Both men and women. We have to get back to basics. Feeling, experiencing, dropping into what is inherent in our energies and natures. Letting ourselves be men and women. And recognizing what stands in our way when we have trouble accessing that natural space. Thoughts, distractions, nervous energy left over from a stressful day, childhood trauma, body issues, disconnection from ourselves. We have to be willing to dive in and dive in deep to see what patterns, psychological, spiritual, emotional etc are taking our energy. So that we can get to the source of our deepest connection. This connection allows us to deeply feel ourselves and another. And in that feeling, we have access to an instinctual place that knows how to dance with another.

3 Basic Tips for Pleasuring A Woman

1. Presence. Never underestimate the power of presence. Presence is super duper sexy. It is super duper important for a woman to feel your masculine present energy. Now what is that exactly?. Well it starts with you, sinking into yourself and clearing the clutter out of your mind and body. So first things first, You have to know You. And get right with it. Which usually takes some time, as alot of men have built up a whole fake male identity around ego and macho. Even on the most subtle of levels. We usually go about getting present thru the breath and meditation. Slowing down to feel more deeply into yourself, slowing down to really connect with your inherent presence. Thoughts may come, distractions, unfinished business…its all good. Just take the dive and see whats there. Once you pass thru some things, the gift of presence and the ability to show up as yourself, no masks, no games, just you with your loving heart and masculine energy is enough to get any girl wet. Because it is so rare.

2. Notice. Listen to her. Take her in. Look at her. Breathe her in. Notice details, ask questions about things she said. Take a genuine interest in this beautiful goddess sitting before you. Marvel at the creation of woman. Don’t drool or act like a lost puppy, take it in from the strength of your presence. Enjoy being in the company of a woman, just for the sake of being next to her. Without any expectations., none, zero, zilch. Let her thoughts and ideas and ways of girliness wow and inspire you. Don’t rush this part. It builds energy, it creates suspense…it gets the fire going.

3. Touch. Learn how to touch to open a womans body up without even getting to the most intense erogenous zones. This alone can work miracles for you. So often we women have been manhandled by sweaty, bumbling hands and to get a good pair of present, slow, warm and giving hands that aren’t trying to grope us or finger us, or grab us,  is a gift from God. Learn to give a good loving, slow and sensual (without being slimy), massage that just worships us for the amazing creatures we are. With zero expectation of sex or need to touch anywhere sexual. Unless of course you are asked or proded…then by all means, please the goddess…But that first touch, that way and texture of touching are so important….if you can touch with care and trust you will immediately put a woman in a calm and more surrendered space. And that is exactly what we need to truly feel opened to going deeper into lovemaking. Or at least we feel safe to say No, so that later we can say yes:)

Why What You’re Thinking About At The Moment of Orgasm Matters

10689934_362698920546365_4979941643078946058_nWhat you are thinking about at the moment of orgasm matters. But wait…do you even know what you are thinking about at the moment of orgasm? Most people say they aren’t thinking anything, that’s what makes orgasm so special…so cultivated, so sought after. The moment of explosion into the cosmos where you are totally free…..a total release….a total let go.

Well, that moment is also an opening. The veil between worlds becomes thinner……there is a fine opening into the greater reality…a precious opportunity.

So often people talk about orgasm as just being this amazing pleasurable state of connection. True. It is. But it is also a very precious moment that opens our energy fields and tunes us to what we are resonating at…So at that moment when the opening comes, its best to be prepared with your highest hopes and dreams, your highest intentions. Those thinking dark thoughts, off in a fantasy, or just not present will vibrate that out to the universe and will carry that in their fields…..Leading to whatever reality that will now create.

That’s why cleaning yourself, your mind, body and emotions is part of the tantric path. So when you do reach these heights you are conscious enough to really work with them to create healing and goodness in your life. It is a sacred act, making love with someone, no matter how well you know them or don’t. It’s a moment where you literally become One, even if just for a moment, even if the veil into that Oneness passes very fast. You still merge together at this time. The point is don’t miss it. Become Mindful. Recognize what is passing between you. Honor it. Even if in that moment it is simply a thought of goodness or a wish of love….just put your best.

We practice sex magic because it is literally sex magic. Your thoughts get catapulted at a much larger speed out into the universe when you are dancing in the openess that is sexuality. The portals of communication are active and alive in these moments….You have a frequency available that you don’t normally to such a degree and at that moment a magic happens where you can manifest at a much greater speed. So these sex magic rituals are harnessing this power, and working with the energy in a conscious way, stating intentions clearly, praying on specific things that you want to manifest. Sex Prayer. Sex Magic. Sex Ritual. The intention is the same….harness this awesome power of orgasm, this actual creative juice of the universe and direct it to creating very good things…

You will be amazed at how your life shifts. You will be amazed at the energy that will surge forward when you become aware like this in your love making.

Now I am not really implying thinking about the new car you want during sex is the way of it, I mean it could be, but what I am really saying, is imagine, putting prayers for a speedy recovery for a friend suffering in the hospital, or perhaps it’s repairing the relationship with the person you are making love to, or perhaps it is for a new job that fulfills you more, or maybe it is for that new car….Maybe that would make your life that much easier.

Try it out…Notice what happens…..Sex is powerful, sacred and we are just beginning to learn how to honor it and work with it in the way I believe it was meant to be used….as a healing force and a creative process….and a great source of pleasure. An act of Love.

Namaste.10300663_633418630082992_6027342021698814538_n

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Embodiment Is Everything

10891977_10152900149483190_6770965350830585997_nToday I called up another Tantra Teacher, a man who came highly recommended for his knowledge and dedication to the true path. I was interested in his training, as I am always searching for the next training, the new information that expands my work even more. I have never met this man before, but I trusted his pictures and websites and videos I saw. I liked him. He seemed for real. And he was. He is.

I realize I haven’t written in awhile because I was taking space from my practice. From this whole “tantra thing” as an acquaintance recently asked if I was “still doing?”. I have been spending my time meditating and relaxing and looking inwards. With less of a fixation to move outwards or hold space for anybody and gathering my forces for the next incarnation of life. So I called this tantra teacher, thinking, well why don’t I just take a class to get myself going again and re-connected?. Find your inspiration again.

Let me explain. I always feel connected to Tantra. Tantra is what is. Right now. It is what is happening at all times. I guess I was feeling a bit discouraged, by the level of maturity that is in our society around sexuality and sensuality. I was tired of hiding, not knowing how or who to tell what my passions are, what I offer to people as a healing, truly who I am. There is alot of stigma around this work, and alot of charlatans who claim to do this work. I just was tired of the whole scene and wanting to connect deeper to myself before I went back into it. And anyway, did people really want the real tantra? Which requires a certain amount of self inquiry and facing your demons. And less to do with massive orgasms or being sexy.  Could I really offer quality and still be in business.

All I can say is it is so refreshing to talk to a real tantra person. Someone who is walking the path and is grounded in truly helping people. This teacher is. And he reminded me of all the amazingness in this work, and the amazing people who can be drawn to this work. I did. I felt re-inspired, re-aligned, re-tantrified…

So get ready. Because my new plan is to blog consistently twice a week, not to just build this blog or because I should, but because I need to express everything I am learning and growing with. I have 10,000 ideas of new things to do with my practice, new ways to serve people, new ways to create sensual arts. And when inspiration comes…you gotta ride that wave thru all your doubt, resistance or confusion…Just keep carving the path. Carving the path…Carving the path…From your own two hands and your own full heart.

So stay tuned….This girl is on fire…

Love

 

Yoni Massage: The Gateway to Feminine Healing

527721_360980377335883_1641217043_nWhat exactly is this famous Yoni Massage about anyway? Why are women seeking this experience now more than ever and why are men so interested in learning how to give them? Is it just another erotic woo hoo thing? And what can one expect to receive and experience if one actually seeks one out and receives this delicious gift to the self?

First of all the Yoni massage is about healing and empowerment. The focus is not on having outrageous orgasms that have you doing cartwheels, although this may happen, the focus is not solely on reaching some sexual goal. It is about celebrating and liberating this powerful area of the woman’s body so that she has more access to her sensations, feelings and erotic potential as well as her creativity and divine shakti, or feminine essence which affects all areas of her life. It awakens Kundalini, the potent spiritual life force, that once awakened brings about higher consciousness and more expansion.  It can be very emotional, very energetic, very arousing or very quiet and peaceful. It is truly a unique experience each and every time and one must show up to the experience, whether giving or receiving, and truly surrender to the moment, to the here and now and let the healing unfold without a goal in mind.

The Yoni Massage is a powerful way to access stored or blocked energy, clear trauma or abuse and heal emotional wounds. Women can hold both personal and collective feminine wounds in this area of their body that can affect their ability to feel pleasure, can actually create pain or numbness or may simply be energetic holdings that only reveal themselves during the massage.  Simply having good sex or a wild sex life is not necessarily going to access these places. The primary reason is because in sex you are normally having in exchange with an intimate partner,  and with the Yoni Massage, you are invited to practice receiving from a therapist who is trained to hold space and facilitate healing. Being in a receptive energy while experiencing your body’s sexual energy, is a profound healing in and of itself for many women. Because it asks us to listen, inside our bodies and souls and get to know these intimate spaces even deeper. Practically speaking, the yoni massage is a very clear healing technique to massage the woman’s vagina, otherwise known as Yoni, that accesses the reflexology points that correspond to the entire body. This is why the yoni massage can feel so good, because it impacts the entire system. It also accesses the Sacred Spot, or G-spot, a sensitive and powerful area of the vagina that is the holding area of much history, energy and imprinting, which can usually remained buried unless accessed in this way.

It also involves breathwork, and the practice of awareness, so that the person receiving is actively participating in their own clearing and release as well as activation and pleasure.  The breath helps the recipient be present to what is happening in the moment, so that one can access what the body is communicating and what emotions are there to be felt. It also helps the energy circulate and build to clear and charge the system, and deepen the connection to life. The facilitator is there offering his/her presence to the recipients process, and is trained to feel when the body is tensing up or holding in certain areas. The breath and the coaching of the particular breathing techniques, help the woman open up even deeper to her erotic potential and her sexual healing and help her move past resistance and open up more fully to joy and pleasure. Never underestimate Joy and Pleasure to be profound healing tools, it is not just suffering that can help us grow, this is the outdated story of healing. Joy and Pleasure and letting them in to expand our lives, can be some of the most powerful breakthrus we have as women. How often have we been taught that our pleasure was wrong, or bad, or dirty? How often have we been taught that other’s needs come before our own? How often were we ever taught about the power of this area of our bodies? Or that our pleasure and Joy naturally spills forth to everything and everyone we meet?  If you were taught these things growing up, wonderful! But many of us weren’t and now, we are catching up to getting to know the divine vessels we travel this life with. It is a gift to know the magic in our feminine jewels.

From the book “Yoni Massage: Awakening Female Sexual Energy, Michaela Riedl writes ”

I like to call yoni massage, the “heart” of massages, since they offer access to a woman’s most intimate area. In no other massage does a woman show as much of her personal and vulnerable side. With each Yoni massage that I give, I develop deeper insight into the sensuality, tenderness, and significance of the female center.

The Yoni has a receptive nature that corresponds to the female principle. For example, it receives the semen and all energies that are linked to it. Every sexual act and action for women means a complete opening of themselves, a reception of everything  that happens in that moment. The woman receives and stores information in her yoni,-information from personal experiences and from stories that have shaped entire generations of women. The yoni, the magical heart place, is thus home to many secrets, a place that recounts the smallest injuries and the greatest moments, as long as we can open its doors.

 

You are worth every ounce of love, time and attention. Don’t be stingy with yourself.

I will be writing more articles in the coming weeks to further expand on the art and healing of the Yoni Massage, one blog post is definitely not enough….

Blessings to you on your way, if I may support you in any way do not hesitate to contact me.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

It’s A Guy Thing:: Some More Genius Deida

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So look, if you haven’t read any David Deida, please for the love of life and relationships go get you some Deida books. Merry Xmas.

Any of them. They all rock. Just read. Don’t argue just yet, let him get to the finish line which he does with surprising wisdom after leading you thru his point with such a cliche viewpoint you want to punch him, and then suddenly, he suprises you with his accuracy …. suddenly you say …ahhhh….that actually makes perfect sense. Men are hornballs. And it’s okay. It’s actually great. Goddess bless the hornballs and the weepy uncontrollable women….It’s really okay to see our weaknesses. And to celebrate our strengths.

So from Deida’s book “It’s a Guy Thing:: An Owner’s Manual For Women…

“The highest form of feminine radiance is love, which can be expressed in many ways. Men feed on this radiance. This love heals their hearts. When they receive it, men feel, YES! This is the woman I want to be with! It is this radiance, this happiness, that shines through a man’s bad mood.

Nothing makes a man happier than your happiness. Plan tonight this way: Be as happy as possible and give your happiness as much as possible. Give your happiness in the way you enjoy it, with energy and creative imagination. Don’t imagine his negative reaction, Oh, he’ll never accept it. Give him happiness the way you want to.

Kiss him, hug him, hold him, tell him you love him, tell him how good it is to see him. Do whatever expresses your happiness. He might scowl and mumble, “I don’t feel like it. I feel horrible.” Don’t absorb his masculine refusal of life and energy. Transform the moment, literally, into a garden of life: music, loving affection, food and light. All of it is just an expression of your radiant happiness.

The Feminine force is the force of life. Your happiness is the heart of this force. The masculine bad mood is all about dissociating from the force of life, but you don’t have to withold your gift just because your man tends to refuse you. The masculine always tries to avoid or manipulate the force of life. Take this into account humorously, and be happy. Your feminine force of life is your unique gift to your man, and, deep down, its what he wants from you, regardless of his resistance.

-DAVID DEIDA…….

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

Slowing Down:: Acknowledging Your Womb Wisdom:: 8 Delicious Ways to Be A Pussy

13162_840201576032683_9145546287106111740_nHave you heard that expression, “a woman’s work is never done”, well, you have because it’s true.  Women have more demands on them than any living creature I have ever known and are the most adept at juggling family life, career, health, hobbies, girlfriends, the emotional landscape of being woman, the societal demands on how we should look, and the pressures from our peers to be “Goddesses”. I use this term loosely, not because I don’t respect it as a word, nor because I don’t believe in the holy power of the goddess, She is definitely a living being. Starting with the ground we walk and the air we breathe. But I for one, am exhausted at how much I find myself running to keep up with everyone’s definition of what Goddess means, and what demands I have placed on myself to achieve this idea of perfection. To prove I am one.

When I got hit with the Flu for 3 days, something I never get, I just am not one of those people, I had to stop and pause for a second….And ask myself…why was I running myself so hard? What was I trying to prove with all the things I thought I was “doing”. And at the core of it was this ancient fear for the male “boss” I had projected my man wounds on and was afraid to voice myself too, afraid of being called a “Pussy”. Who wants to be a “pussy”? Wait, except, I loved pussies, so what was I so afraid of? I was all about Pussies….maybe I should just surrender and be a “pussy”…… and give it the correct definition.

So here it is…..(drum roll)

8 TIPS TO PROVE YOUR PUSSY POWER

1. You don’t carry heavy shit. Look, you can, it’s not that you won’t but with all the things you are doing all day long, taking care of everyone, looking beautiful, finding god, making food, and organizing business meetings, you really don’t want to spend time carrying things that are 1/3 the weight for these other beings called Men. Why should you carry the heavy stuff? He’s better at it. Find a He and Ask. Usually, the great thing is, if you ask nice, they really like to flex their muscles.

2. You don’t PUSH…..You don’t PULL……you simply RECEIVE…..Read that once more. Out Loud. To everyone in sight. This is the new dawn of grace. Sometimes we are great at these words and lousy at the practice. We receive by tuning in and vibrating our goddess charms all thru us and shower them on life in all its manifestations…..This is called Magic. Magic is the stuff of dreams. Dreams are stuff of the night. The night has the moon. The moon is Her. You are Her. Enough said.

3. Your Womb Feeling is Your Gut Feeling, is Your Saving Grace…..: That means TUNE IN. All the time. Without this you will not hear the guidance that is flowing thru you like water, all the day and all the night. Give up trying to understand it. Just listen to it. Feel it. It’s often poetic, mostly wise and always very simple. It lives in your womb. Yes where babies are made and no you don’t need to have had a baby to sense it. It’s Womb Wisdom. Just go stare at that picture of that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you left, that you knew was not good for you. Notice the feeling in your belly. That’s your womb talking to you. Loud and clear…You know when you know. We all have been there…

4. YES, Even Today Is a Good Day to Dress Up. Pretty Does Matter…..Because it matters to you…because it matters when and where and how you dress to please yourself. If you feel like dressing up or putting on lipstick or glitter or earrings or some strange feather eye mask, or your favorite sneakers you are allowed, because. You get to do what you want, because it feels good, because you know that feeling good, will help others have permission to feel good too. Because you just like it. Because its pretty.

5. WHEN TIRED….You Rest. This is a very, very  important one…when you are tired, that means rest. That means, you must tell others you are resting, that means you must take that rest to be mind/body/spirit rest. That means, you take your mind out of figuring out how it is all going to work out and you simply hand it over to the Goddess, and say “I am resting, can you hold this?”. And She Will. So. Just Do it. Rest.

6. JUICE YOURSELF:: This means two things;; drink fresh juice…like from vegetables. This is way way helpful. It makes your skin glow, your energy rise, it makes you happy. Second it means:: Do something fun. Take a dance class, see a girlfriend, paint your nails, go see good art, ride a bike, play with kids, watch the sunset, walk barefoot thru the sand, LAUGH, tell an erotic story, do something JUICY….related to fun, inspiration, creativity, sensuality…whatever it is that gets you saying YES to being alive. Go and do it. You can also do that too just make sure you also receive some pleasure and not just give.

7. You Help. You help others, when it also feels good for you. You don’t help when you are half falling over. You help when you truly have an overflowing cup and it is a pleasure to help. You help out of gratitude, out of joy, out of service to a larger universe. You help out of love. Not out of hoping to get some love, or helping with an agenda of the other person now helping you next, or with the idea that you “should” help. You help because it is intensely pleasurable. You help because it makes you happy. When someone needs help and you don’t have it to give, you look around for that person who does have it to give and you delegate. If it’s just you and you have 3 screaming kids and no man or woman around, you put a movie on, you call a friend, you do what you can to find the peace so that you also receive help. You help as much as you ask for help. Muy importante.

8. You like cats. Just kidding. But not really. Because if you want to truly be a pussy, just watch a cat. She/He will show you everything you need to know about perfecting the Art. Lie around, look deeply at life, move fast, leap, purr, scratch when you don’t like something, nuzzle in when you do, be gorgeous. It’s easy. And in only 8 steps…..Purrrr…..

Love to All the Women Out There Who Do More Than The World Will Ever Recognize.

I Recognize You and So Does She.

Love and Gratitude.

www.sensualtantrichealing.com

 

Full Moon Nov 6, 2014….Taurus….ahhh:)

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Full Moon in Taurus yayyyy!!!

 

Here is a qoute about what she represents this day….::::

 

“FULL MOON in Taurus is here on November 6 2014! Time to connect with the nurturing and supportive energy of Mother Earth and remember the peace that comes when we simply take a moment to breathe deeply and enter the stillness. Been a lot of energy churning in the cosmos, the easiest and simplest thing we can do to regain our balance is come back to our breath. Slow deep breaths open the way…so remember to breathe.
Here are the MYSTIC MAMMA Astral Insights from the our featured astrologers bringing their illuminating wisdom…
First from the insightful PAT LILES from The Power Path.com:
“A time of palpable Feminine Power – meaning of the Earth, the body, the sensual, that which holds beauty and power with grace. All four elements, earth, air, fire and water have a sign that represents the holding and consolidation of energy-POWER. They are the fixed signs. For earth it is Taurus; for water, it is Scorpio. Earth and water are the feminine elements…”
“Taurus combines its power with the practicality of earth meaning focus is on our security, what we value, our resources, possessions, and what we can experience with our earthly senses (mmm, tastes good, feels good, smells good, sounds good…), and Taurus reflects how we experience our self-worth.”
“Ruled by feminine Venus, she brings to Taurus the sensuous, the beautiful, and the ability to magnetize what she desires to her. The material world reflects how Taurus views their power and strength and safety in the world…”

 

To read more click below! And do something special for this one!

http://www.mysticmamma.com/full-moon-in-taurus-november-6-2014/